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You’re ALWAYS In The Driver’s Seat: 3 Keys To Unlock Your Power With Karen Abrams

REW Karen Abrams | Unlock Your Power


You have to avoid blaming others for what’s happening in your life because you’re always in the driver’s seat. It’s time to unlock your power and reclaim the life you desire and deserve. Listen to Moneeka Sawyer as she talks with Karen Abrams about unlocking your power and focusing on lightness and joy. Change is within you. What’s important is learning how to adapt, build resilience, and overcome challenges to embrace those changes. In this episode, Karen shares in-depth insights on believing in yourself while taking responsibility for the outcomes you’re experiencing. Tune in to learn more about confidence, self-worth, and shifting your beliefs.

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You’re ALWAYS In The Driver’s Seat: 3 Keys To Unlock Your Power With Karen Abrams

Real Estate Investing For Women

I am so excited to welcome to the show, Karen Abrams. Karen is a UCLA Educated Entrepreneur, Master Theta Healer, gifted intuitive, and international bestselling author. For many years, she has helped entrepreneurs and professionals with self-sabotaging habits to gain confidence, financial security, and personal fulfillment.

Karen works with clients worldwide to transform their subconscious beliefs and break free from trapped emotions, traumas, and limiting mindsets to build the financial and personal success they desire and deserve. She is known for integrating her energetic work with practical tools to bring about powerful results. Karen’s keen sense of humor, insights, and healing abilities have made her a rising star on radio, podcasts, and the international telesummit circuit in the Human Potential Movement. Karen, welcome to the show.

It’s so great to be back.

It’s so nice to see you. I met Karen in 2018 before the pandemic, and we’ve been keeping in touch. She did some sessions for me because I am a huge advocate of theta healing, and I learned it myself as a healer several years ago. I’ve been practicing my version of theta healing. I was so excited to see Karen’s focus and the way that she does it. She does it very differently than I do, which is awesome. It was healing for me because I got a completely different perspective on that. She was phenomenal. I wanted to share her with you. Karen, thanks for coming by to talk to my audience and share all your amazing wisdom.

Thank you so much. I’m so happy to be back in your happy space.

Thank you. Karen, let’s start by how did you become a healer. Give us the high-level version.

I watched a friend of mine change all of these major areas of her life with theta healing. I wanted to give you a background on her to know what was going on so you can relate to it. She’s a brilliant woman. She had a business degree from a great Ivy League school. She had big health issues that were very difficult for her to resolve. She had a long-term relationship that wasn’t going where she wanted it to go. She wasn’t making the money that she knew that she could.

She had a lot of self-sabotaging issues going on with her, like getting in fights with clients and her boss and all these things. Her friends were making $400,000 a year, and she was a fraction of that. She wasn’t able to turn it around by herself. She started working with the founder Vianna Stibal, who’s the Founder of ThetaHealing. I saw over a relatively short period of time that all of the areas of her life started to change in a big way. Her health got so much better. Her relationship transformed into the loving friendship that it was meant to be. She then started making money.

I went, “That’s interesting,” because that was an area that I was having a challenge with. When something like this work shows up so conventionally in somebody’s life, my antennas are like going, “What is that?” Vianna came out and did a beginning theta healing class. I love the class. I loved how she worked with the toughest people in the room. They changed in minutes with tough issues they were doing and looked years younger afterward.

Take a hundred percent responsibility for your life. That's where meaningful change happens. Share on X

I remember after the class I felt like I could breathe. It was a three-day class. I remember walking through my apartment doing the breaststroke like, “What is this space in front of me?” I don’t even understand it. I had anxiety for a couple of years. I’ve been working with a therapist for a few years, and we got it down from an 11 to a 3, but a 3 still meant that I woke up every day terrified and that my heart was beating out of my chest every day. Nobody knew because I was like, “How’s it going?” I’ve got a great smile. I was like, “This is cool,” but what was happening was something very different on the inside.

I realized in that moment of appreciating all that space that my anxiety was gone. It was the first time in a couple of years that my body was out of fight or flight. It blew me away. I flipped out. I signed up for every single class I could take. I didn’t even know how to describe what I had been through and what it was. I knew I had to do it. I had to do it for myself, my family, and my friends. That’s as far as I got.

A few weeks after this, some of the symptoms started coming back. For anxiety, it’s a little bit, but by then, I was already in class and taking classes. I shifted away. You know when something in your life is an issue, and it’s up to here, and that slowly comes down until you stop noticing that it’s there and you go on with your life. That’s what happened. I can’t tell you the day that left, but I can tell you it did. I doubled my income. My relationships got better.

I believe that this changed the foundation of my life. I’m in a very happy marriage. We’ve been together for many years. We have a wonderful kid. We have a tight close relationship. Financially, everything’s going great. It worked out. There’s always growth to be made and things we need to do. I can’t say I’ve reached Nirvana, and I’m on the hilltop looking down, but I can say that life is amazing, and I have this tool with me all the time, and anytime I need it. I thank God for that.

I love that story. I love how you talk about, “It’s great, but there’s always room for more.” I was at a mastermind, and she said, “For us, there’s the yumminess of more.” You can be so excited, happy, and delighted with where you are, but there is this yumminess of more. What’s that next evolution? What’s that next level of joy or that next level of intimacy in our relationships? I also love how you were talking about yourself and how it started above your head. You bring your head down, and it starts up above your head, the stress levels, and then you bring it down until it disappears from your heart.

In a lot of theta healing, and I had this with many of my clients in the early days, they wouldn’t even remember what they had come to me for. You would do this session, and they would be like, “I feel great.” You have to remind them at the end of the session, “This is what you came for. You said you were at a 7, 8, 10, or 12 of 10.” They’re like, “What? That’s not even an issue.” You then try to talk to them next time, and they don’t even remember. For you, it was a process, and you remember the process. With Theta, sometimes it disappears, and it maybe not even a part of your memory base. If you remember it, it’s like it happened to somebody else.

I had that same experience myself. People would say, “Moneeka, do you remember when?” I’m like, “I don’t remember that pain, trauma, and all those things,” which is interesting. I don’t know if you do this, Karen, but I got into this habit of having people write it down. You don’t want them affirming bad things, but I would like them to write it down in their own handwriting what they were trying to fix, so I get to hand it to them and say, “This is what happened. Tell me what you notice in your life around that.” I don’t want to say magical because that takes it out of the realm of science, but it does feel in many cases.

REW Karen Abrams | Unlock Your Power

Unlock Your Power: A simple meditation allows you to connect to your inner wisdom source and also connect to your subconscious mind. When you make that connection, you’re able to access your bottom beliefs and change on the ones that really are messing with you and your life.


I agree. I remember I had a friend when I was taking all the classes. When we were towards the end of all of our education, she was like, “When I first met you, you didn’t even notice me,” I was, “That’s so weird. I don’t even understand that.” She’s like, “I remember we were eating together, and you were in your own world.”

Isn’t it funny? I understand. Tell us what theta healing is. Why don’t you describe it from your perspective?

It took me years to figure out how to do that. I don’t know if it did for you too.

It’s the thing with brainwaves.

When Vianna would describe it, I was so high in theta. I was like, “What did you say? I don’t understand.” What theta healing is a simple meditation that allows you to connect to your inner wisdom, source, whatever that name is for you, and also connect to your subconscious mind. When you make that connection, you’re able to access your bottom beliefs and change them, the ones that are messing with you and your life.

That is, “I’m nothing. I’m worthless. I’m unlovable. Nothing ever turns out for me.” With your permission, you can energetically shift these beliefs. Since we’re in the subconscious mind, we have access to all of these trapped emotions. There are things we’ve inherited, like trauma, anger, and betrayal. There are things that we went through of the same name, like sadness, grief, and all these things that have been there forever or for too long. When you’re in that theta state, your mind can talk to your body and help you release it. What gets replaced is unconditional love, understanding, and compassion.

What happens is when you take your most damaging beliefs and change them into your most powerful and positive ones, and when you replace these old toxic emotions with your most supportive ones, you start feeling better and lighter. You start making decisions in support of yourself. The dynamics in your relationships change in a loving way in your favor.

We have to practice self-care. We have to create that time where we're at the top of the list, because it's easiest for us to break promises to ourselves. Share on X

The cool thing at the end of all of that, which was cool enough already, is that those barriers to following the great advice that you’ve heard and to take the actions that you’ve needed to do to move your life forward will come down. You start moving forward with more ease and focus, like a new lightness and joy. That’s what I have noticed.

The way that I used to describe it is very technical. I was scientific. There are four different brainwaves, but theta is the deepest brainwave we have access to. It happens naturally in sleep, which is why we talk so much about it, where you get messages from the universe and your subconscious when you’re sleeping. I believe it’s the place we are in, REM. Is that true? Do I remember correctly?

It’s right when we’re accessing our dream state. It’s at that point when we’re starting to space out, and we don’t know where we are. We’re on the fence between two worlds.

That’s the dream state, so you’re already asleep. You’re already gone way past alpha which is the normal meditation state that we do. You’re about to go into REM. You’re already deeply asleep and about to go into this dream state. You’re wide open for the messages, but you’re not getting the messages, or your subconscious is getting the messages, or they’re working through those messages that you’ve delivered to it.

It’s this interesting place. I’ve done some interesting things. What happens when you’re in this place is your vibration rises, and you’re sending your vibration out into the world. Readers, I hope this isn’t too woo-woo for you, but this is how it works. You know that I’m all about bliss. You know that your vibration impacts what happens to you, what you’re delivering out into the world energetically, and how you receive and perceive things. That’s why we talk so much about bliss.

You can use theta to create that energetic field. It’s like a radio, where you’re receiving and delivering. You can deliver out into the world and have this impact. I would have these things that would happen. I would have a tenant in one of my houses that was having problems. I remember once I got a call from a tenant that said, “Moneeka, I have lost my job. I’m not going to be able to pay for three months.” I said, “That’s fine.” He’s been with me for a couple of years. “I’m not going to put pressure on you, but let’s see what we can do about this. I am very happy to continue to have you be my tenant.” He was not able to make it one month, but he made up for that.

What I had done is I did my own theta process on his healing around money. I did it remotely as a surrogate for him because he wasn’t open to it. He got a new job. The next time I saw him, he was uplifted. We can’t heal other people. I’m not trying to say that, but I was healing that business process or that business exchange of money.

REW Karen Abrams | Unlock Your Power

Unlock Your Power: When you take your most damaging beliefs and you change them into your most powerful and positive ones, and replace these old toxic emotions with your most supportive ones, you’ll start feeling better and lighter and you start making decisions in support of yourself.


I’ve done this many times when I want to find the perfect tenant. I ended up with a house empty on December 1st. That’s the worst time to find a new tenant. I did a theta process and had a tenant within two days. It’s so interesting that we can use this not just in our relationships, our money, and our beliefs, but it’s the energy we send out into the world and the expectation that we magnetize back to us. It is a phenomenal tool on so many levels. Does that resonate with what you’ve experienced, too?

Absolutely. I remember I had a business mentor who said, ‘”Business is one of the most powerful vehicles for self-improvement because whatever we do or don’t do, it comes back to us.” The other description of theta is it’s like focused prayer. We’re connecting to that energy that makes everything happen and putting something positive into the mix. When we were talking about a cycle, what you feel inside you emanates out, and then the universe reflects that back. When you go into worry, which is this focus on a bad outcome. “What if this happens?” If you went into that space, it’s like, “He’ll never be able to pay. This guy that I love, I have to kick out.”

We all have a reaction. That’s okay. We got to come back from that afterward and go, “What is this triggering?” Get to the deepest part of that. Maybe there was an original wound, something going on, or something about being disappointing because you’re a people pleaser. You get to the bottom of that, and it opens up that space also for somebody else to move freely.

Everybody’s got a role in the family like, “Here’s the black sheep. This is the one who never makes it and can’t rub two nickels together.” Every time you look or think of them, you have this low vibrational signal you send out, like, “It’s okay to stay this way. This is how I expect you to be.” When you open that up and get yourself out of the mix, it frees them up to do what they need to do.

They do their own path. The thing is, we don’t want to be infringing on someone else’s path. Everybody’s here for their own learning, growing, or whatever it is that they’re supposed to be doing. As long as we deliver angst, worry, or expectation, we’re delivering our interference into their path. I understand what you’re saying about that. The result that you get is not always what you expect.

Have Faith

The universe works in interesting ways. It’s not always exactly what you expect. The next step to that is having faith that it’s happening as it’s supposed to. It’s not necessarily how I expected, but as it’s supposed to be. That’s helped me to go through that theta process, too, when it didn’t happen instantaneously, but to know that, “This was the first step. Now, here’s the next step.” It’s like that.

Let’s say he didn’t get a job immediately, but something else happened so that you could go, “I found a grant for him.” You don’t know how it’s going to show up. Even at first, it looks like contrast and something that appears negative. It’s like, “Maybe the solution to that thing is the thing that’s going to get all of this done.”

Having “me” time is very important. You need to have something that keeps you grounded and center that takes you away from your day-to-day business. Share on X

Everyone you bring here, I’ll take a good educated guess that they’ve had some major thing happen to them that caused them to do the amazing work they were doing. In the beginning, it was the worst thing ever or somewhere around there, but they made it the best thing ever. Was it really that? We don’t know what we’re looking at. When we judge it in one way, we’re holding it in a space too tight of a box, and we got to open that up.

We can talk about this forever. Let’s talk about the driver’s seat. You talk a lot about you can be in the driver’s seat of your life always. What do you mean by that?

We’re always in the driver’s seat, even if we feel like we’re in the passenger seat, because it’s your life. You’re living the consequences of your life all the time, whether you’ve got a bossy partner who makes all the decisions for you or you make them yourself. This is about you. I want to give you an example. There’s an amazing statistic out there that you probably know that women lose up to $1.5 million in lifetime earnings because they’re afraid to ask for a raise. When they ask for a raise, they typically ask for 30% less than men.

We live with those results. We live with that vacuum. If we don’t fill it, we have this income vacuum that won’t take care of us when we’re older, yet if we decide and know that we’re in the driver’s seat, we can change that around and fill that space with something that’s going to support us when we need it. When I think of real estate, is there any business that has more of that in it? The decisions you make, don’t make, and the actions you take and don’t take turn up in a property, no property, worst property, or in the best. As you said, the best tenant is a nightmare. All of those things are always going on. We have to know that in order for us to come from a different and more powerful place to create what we want to create.

That was so powerful. I want the readers to sink into that. You are in the driver’s seat. You may feel like you’re in the passenger seat. I’m going to repeat this because you said it so well. You may have a bossy partner that you think is in the driver’s seat, but you are driving the car, and that is your life. You picked that partner. In your car, that person is the backseat driver. They’re in the passenger seat in your life. Not your life together, whatever that looks like, but your life.

I released a panel where I talked about conscious leadership and how we’re all leaders. It’s that same thing. We’re all leaders in this thing that we’re calling our life. We’re making our own decisions, even if that decision is to turn over all of our power to somebody else. That’s a decision we make, and that is you being the leader in your own life. That is you being the driver in your own car.

“I’ve decided that I don’t want that responsibility. I’m going to turn it over to somebody else.” Maybe we haven’t made that consciously. That’s maybe how we’ve been trained to live in the world, but you are still making that choice. We always have a choice. We’re always a driver in our own world. As I said in that panel, we’re always the leader of our own life, which can show up in many different ways. Talk to me about being in the driver’s seat in a more meaningful way, rather than, “You just are.”

REW Karen Abrams | Unlock Your Power

Unlock Your Power: When you lose faith in yourself, it’s going to reflect back out in the outer world and show you in a dissatisfying deal and unsatisfying client, whatever that is.


Make Yourself A Priority

Here’s the way you can do this in meaningful and empowering ways. The first thing you need to do is take 100% responsibility for your life. That’s where meaningful change happens. If we don’t do that and you’re always like, “No, it’s not,” you can’t be the victim here. You’re the one who’s painting the picture, so that’s first. The second thing you have to do is you have to create me time. There has to be a place in your life where you’re at the top of the list. “I am a wife and a mother of a teenager. I am a daughter of an elderly parent with health issues.” I know when I’m 4th or 5th on the list. That has to happen sometimes, but we have to create that time where we’re at the top of the list because it’s easiest for us to break promises to ourselves.

I don’t want to break a promise to my kid because she looks at me and goes, “You promised.” I don’t want to do that to my partner. I don’t want to do that to other people and see that look, but I can’t see the look on my face, but it happens. What happens is if I become disappointed in myself and break promises, I lose faith in myself and my ability to carry out my promises, which breeds dissatisfaction. This brings us back to what we were talking about before, which is if that’s what’s going on inside, it’s going to reflect back out in the outer world and show you a dissatisfying deal and unsatisfying client, whatever that is. We want to have that me time. That’s very important.

You need to have something that keeps you grounded and centered that takes you away from your day-to-day business, “I’m doing emails. I’m doing calls. I’m with clients.” You have to have something that’s completely away from that. Meditation is very important to me. That helps you stay grounded and centered in the face of chaos if that happens. Since we had COVID, we know that can happen. When things are great, and the skies are blue, it helps you soar. You can be happy for no reason. What’s better than that?

You talked about 100% responsibility. I want to go back to that. I talk a lot about me time on this show. As a women’s show and as women, we are the masters of taking care of everybody else and letting ourselves down. Building that faith in our own selves and keeping our promises to ourselves is as important. The thing is to make promises that you can keep. You’re going to make a promise to your child that you’re going to keep. You’re going to make a promise to your partner that you know you can keep.

When you make promises to yourself, make sure you’re making promises you know you can keep. In other words, don’t say, “I’ve got no me-time for myself in three years. Now, every day, I’m going to have two hours for a bubble bath.” You’re never going to be able to live up to that. It’s like, “I can do a five-minute meditation now because I haven’t done anything for myself for so long. I’m trying to build those muscles,” but you need to make commitments to yourself that you can keep and then keep them because you need to learn how to trust yourself.

This is important in business, too, because when you’re out there and don’t trust yourself, how are you going to make your own decisions? You’re going to doubt everything that you do. You’re going to doubt your promises to others, your ability to make decisions, and your ability to deal with the consequences of those decisions. That’s the biggest fear of all. It’s, “I’m going to get this property. What if it turns out to be this nightmare, and I can’t deal with it?” If you trust yourself, you can deal with it. You want to build that trust. This piece of 100% responsibility is hard. Would you say that you found that this is the hardest piece?

Yes. People tend to identify with being a victim.

Meditation is very important and that helps you stay grounded and centered in the face of chaos if that happens. Share on X

Blame is the ultimate self-victimization. “The economy is bad. We’re in inflation. I can’t buy a house. Look at interest rates have gone up. I hate the president. This country is going to hell,” whatever it is, I don’t believe those things. I’m saying that this is what I hear. There’s so much out there that can victimize us that we have no control over.

We can vote. Some of us get politically involved, but we feel victimized by that. That’s the macro level, but then in our own lives, it’s like, “My husband’s bossy. My children are needy. My dog always is at the hospital.” There are all these problems, “I don’t have control.” That is self-victimization. You don’t necessarily have control, but what you do have control over is how you choose to respond. That choice to respond is what you have to take 100% responsibility for.

When you make a choice, and then there’s an outcome, you can be victimized by, “I made that choice. It didn’t work out.” Make the decision or the choice that you see this outcome, “That wasn’t awesome. What other choice can I make that will bring a better outcome?” We feel victimized by what’s going on out there. We can if we choose to, or we can choose to respond in ways that support our own bliss and joy in our own lives.

I agree with that. One of the things that I talk about in a session, and I’m sure you know this too, is the difference between responsibility and blame. Blame is a judgment, and it puts you in a corner. You have to get out of the blame. “I can’t get out of that corner because I’m bad. I did a dumb thing. How could I be so blockheaded? I keep pelting myself in that corner.”

You have to get out and heal that. All responsibility is, “Yes, I’m here. I did this. Every decision I’ve made got me here. If I’m that powerful, I can go anywhere. I just ended up here, but I can go somewhere else.” It’s a little directional change. I always talk about it like if you had a cannon pointed at one village and put it 3 degrees West, it would eventually hit a whole other place. That’s what we do. We make these minor changes that down the road will become huge, and we’ll end up in a whole different wonderful place because of it.

They’re little course corrections.

We do them. It’s life.

REW Karen Abrams | Unlock Your Power

Unlock Your Power: If you don’t have a really great self-worth of your self-sabotaging, that’s what’s going to show up in properties. You’re not going to get the properties you want, but if you do that inner work to clear yourself up and be in that blissful, joyful space, then you’re going to create that on the outside world.


It’s the way that it is. I took a class on flying a helicopter. It was so hard. Part of it is because those propellers don’t have wings, so you’re in constant course correction. You can’t even hold it straight because it will go the wrong way. In our lives, that’s a fairly dramatic view, but it is true. I say this in my book, Choose Bliss. We’re constantly course-correcting. From the moment we wake up in the morning, we decide what time we’re getting up, whether we’re going to push the snooze button, what we’re going to do with that time when we get out of bed, which side we’re going to get out of the bed, “Are we going to push these sheets back? Am I going to pet the dog? Am I going to run to the restroom?”

In five minutes of the alarm going off, it’s all these choices that we’ve made. Most of them are not conscious choices, but I’m saying that we are constantly on course correct. Each one of those choices could have been different. I could have chosen not to snooze the alarm. I could have chosen I wanted to drink some water first instead of running to the restroom. There are a lot of choices that I could make, even in the first minutes of our day, that will course correct and set me up for success.

It’s a thing that we, as humans, are constantly doing. It’s something we do anyways. Why not see it as your responsibility and keep that course correct in a way that’s going to support you as best as you can? You see the consequences and the results. If they’re not what you like, you course-correct some more. You do something a little bit differently. Tell me some examples of some of your clients that have stepped into this power of full responsibility, being in the driver’s seat, and those things.

I’ll talk first with a client I have worked with a lot. She has a tutoring business. I worked with her for a long time. She was towards the beginning of her business. Her gift was to teach young children. She could speak their language and loved them, but she didn’t have a formal education. It created this insecurity because she was going into the educational business. At that space, the parents are college educated or higher, and all of this stuff, and she’s coming into these environments. She also had very serious health issues that affected her memory, concentration, focus, and energy, which could happen at any moment. She had to be taking care of herself constantly.

As we said, business is a motivation for self-improvement. “What’s happening this week? What’s going on with you?” It was the insecurity that was playing. We would work on what are the root causes of all of that right at this moment. She could learn from it, let it go, and be like, “Cool.” She could work with her clients better. If she had a health issue, it’s the same thing, “What does it remind you of? What’s the root issue?” We would do the same thing, find the root issues, heal them, and move on. She went from an upper 5-figure business to a 6-figure business to a 7-figure business. She is looking to create this as an 8-figure business, and I have no doubt that she will get there. You can see the evolution. It was cool.

We’ve got another one who is in a relationship. This couple was in that tough spot. We all have those years where they’re hard or something. They kept disappointing, angering, and triggering each other to the point where they fought all the time. They had a kid, so the kid is in the middle of this and is not having a great time here.

I saw them separately. It was like, “What is your partner triggering in you? What’s the wound your partner’s triggering you? Is it by saying, ‘Pass the salt,’ or, ‘You didn’t get that done?'” We found all of those root causes and healed them, which gave them each more compassion for themselves. They were no longer triggered by what the other person was saying because they were coming from a different place, and they got it. It saved their marriage. They turned into this tight little happy family unit. They’re thriving even now. It’s wonderful.

Your net worth only goes as high as your self-worth. Share on X

I have one in real estate one that I wanted to share with you too. I was working with a guy in commercial real estate who had some issues with his dad. We all have an issue with a parent somewhere. We got to the root of that thing. We’re able to heal it. He was able to forgive and have this beautiful outcome with him. Right after that, he had this $10,000 deal fall in his lap that came out of nowhere in real estate. He was like, “Okay.” It opened up a space that he didn’t know was filled with this anger, resentment, and withholding of love. Those are some of the amazing things that have happened when you can open up and receive this stuff.

I love the relationship thing that can help with partners, business partners, negotiation, and all of that stuff. It’s amazing. First of all, readers, have you loved this? I love theta, and I love Karen. I hope you’ve loved it too. In EXTRA, we’re going to be doing a sample session, and the focus is going to be being money worthy. I’m looking forward to that. That will be fun. How can people get in touch with you?

It’s pretty easy. You can go to my website, which is ThinkTheta.com. Contact me from there. I have my phone number and my email there, which is [email protected], so it’s easy for you to reach me.

She also has a free gift which is at BlissfulInvestor.com/Theta. Can you tell us a little bit about what the gift is?

This is a theta meditation that I call Enough Already. This is about letting you know what it feels like to have all of your needs met. When you come to the table with all of your needs met, you have the discernment to know what’s in front of you. “Is this a good deal? Is this a bad deal?” You’re not coming from that vacuum of fear, worry, or insecurity. You’re coming from this place of being completely sated and going, “That sounds great. That’s good. I’m going to pass on that.”

The more you fill yourself up with everything you need and the feeling of it, the more you will create it in the outside world. It’s wonderful. I also suggest very wholeheartedly that you do this right before you go to bed because whatever you end your evening with, it’s going to marinate in your subconscious mind for another eight hours. You might as well get the most bang for your free buck here.

I love that. You can go to BlissfulInvestor.com/Theta. You can take a look at that, but thank you so much for that gift.

REW Karen Abrams | Unlock Your Power

Unlock Your Power: Life happens for you, not to you. That’s going to help you react in ways that are really constructive and help you move into that space of creating the outcomes that you really desire.


You are so welcome.

Are you ready for our three rapid-fire questions?

I am.

Give us one super tip on getting started investing in real estate.

Regain Self-Worth

You got to remember this. Your net worth only goes as high as your self-worth. As we’ve been talking about before, if you don’t have great self-worth and if you’re self-sabotaging, that’s what’s going to show up. You’re not going to get the properties you want, but if you do that inner work to clear yourself up and be in that blissful and joyful space, then you’re going to create that in the outside world. It’s going to come to you.

What is one strategy for being successful as a real estate investor?

That is about getting comfortable with change. As we learned from COVID, we need to be able to pivot. We might not have to pivot all the way around, but enough to make that happen. Change is always with us. We saw a global version of it. We’ll never know if that could happen again, but knowing that you’re comfortable with it is going to build your resilience. If it builds your resilience, it’s also going to be this place that’s fodder for more creativity. Creativity is the mother of invention. It’s great.

It also gives you confidence that you can handle anything like what we were talking about. What is one daily practice that you do that contributes to your personal success?

I’m going to give you two because I already gave you the one that’s the biggie, which is meditation. Meditation saves me. When COVID hit and everything shut down, it’s the thing that saved me from staying calm and go, “What needs to get done?” This is the new little thing I wanted to give you. We also need little energetic practices. I always say metaphorically, “Stub our toe,” and we go, “Ouch,” and it starts to ruin our day. We need to be able to shift back into that positive energy.

Get comfortable with change. We need to be able to pivot. Share on X

Here’s one easy thing that you can do anytime that happens to you. Let’s say something bad happens right at the moment, and you don’t get this client, or a deal falls through. At that moment, close your eyes and say, “Thank you,” and then ask the question, “How does it get any better than this?” What happens is when you go into the thank you, you’re going into gratitude. That’s the receiving mode. When you are grateful, you can’t be mad because you’re grateful. Even when it happens, it’s getting you out of anger or those things. You just keep saying it.

That, “How does it get any better than this,” is training your brain at that moment. Instead of saying, “What could be worse?” which is a lot of places we go to and get pessimistic quickly, you’re focusing on what’s going to be the better thing that happens next. That’s going to bring about a better outcome and bring about your actions, which will manifest a better outcome. It’s an easy thing you can have in your pocket at any time. It’s great. I use it all the time.

That’s so interesting. I love that. I’m going to try that. This has been so amazing. Karen, do you have parting words for my readers?

One of the most important things to remember is an old saying, but it’s a good one, “Life happens for you, not to you.” That’s going to help you react in ways that are constructive and help you move into that space of creating the outcomes that you desire. As I was saying, we don’t know if this event changed our whole life and, on that day, which might’ve been the worst day of our life, turned into the best thing that ever happened to us. When you remember that in the moment of something going on, it could change the way you react to it. What you were saying, and as a mentor of mine said, “How you react will determine your existence.”

There are so many tweetable quotes in this show. Thank you so much, Karen. That was so valuable. Readers, stay tuned. We’ve got more in EXTRA. We’re going to be doing a sample theta on being money worthy, which I love. If you are subscribed to EXTRA, stay tuned. If you are not, go to RealEstateInvestingForWomenEXTRA.com, and you can get this there for free for the first few days. After that, you can subscribe if you feel like it’s valuable content.

For those of you that are leaving us, thank you so much for joining Karen and me for this portion of the show. You know how much I appreciate you. I look forward to seeing you next time and until then, remember goals without action are just dreams. Get out there, take action, and create the life your heart deeply desires. I’ll see you next episode.


Important Links


About Karen Abrams

REW Karen Abrams | Unlock Your PowerKaren Abrams is a UCLA educated, entrepreneur, Master Theta Healer, relationship expert, and gifted intuitive. She is also an award-winning international bestselling author. She works with professional women to transform their subconscious beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviors to create new habits, mindsets and actions that bring about personal and financial fulfillment. Graduated in psychology.

Karen has honed the skills critical to Theta Healing, and as a student of meditation, her insight and intuition allow her to identify and pinpoint root causes of long-standing issues to create new understandings, forgiveness and strong inner resources. She has worked with thousands of clients worldwide who are at a crossroads in their lives- helping them heal the underlying causes of their issues and get clarity and understanding on how to move forward from there. Karen is dedicated to helping women break free from living in survival mode so they can bring about fulfilled, healthy and balanced lives.


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Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs And Unlock Your True Potential With Joe Evangelisti – Real Estate For Women

REW 81 | Unlock Your True Potential


You will always have adversities blocking your path. The key is pivoting to unlock your true potential. Moneeka Sawyer presents Joe Evangelisti, a high-performance coach with over 5,000 hours of coaching experience under his belt and the host of the Legacy Blueprint Podcast. Joe shares with Moneeka that you need to follow your heart and gut when making decisions. However difficult the situation, you have to take action in some direction and know that it’s safe to fail. You need to be fearless. Do you know what keeps you back from being fearless 99% of the time? Limiting beliefs. Tune in to discover how to overcome limiting beliefs, pivot, and unlock your potential!

Watch the episode here


Listen to the podcast here


Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs And Unlock Your True Potential With Joe Evangelisti – Real Estate For Women

Real Estate Investing For Women

I am excited to welcome to the show Joe Evangelisti. He is the host of The Legacy Blueprint podcast and a high-performance coach with over 5,000 hours of coaching experience under his belt. His mission is to assist real estate investors, entrepreneurs, and business professionals in exercising their true power in finding their hidden potential to achieve more success, wealth and freedom than they have ever thought possible. Joe creates life-changing transformations by providing clients with the tools and strategies needed to create unstoppable momentum and breakthrough obstacles. He has helped hundreds of business owners to build better teams and cross the 7, 8 and even 9-figure mark. Joe, welcome to the show.

Thanks for having me on. I appreciate it.

I want to jump in and start with, how did you even get into coaching? Could you share that with us?

Redesign your business to serve your lifestyle. Share on X

Most people ask how you get into business. Coaching is all different angles. Coaching started from many years of messing around in business and making a lot of mistakes, failures, trials and tribulations. I always tell people it’s hard to coach theory. You have to coach practice. You have to coach being in the trenches. I built my coaching practice the same way I’ve built my businesses, which is through trial and error, through doing it, through failing and pivoting. The coaching business was a byproduct of me going through many iterations of my business world, building different types of teams. I have a real estate background, a construction background. I built a pretty large fix and flip company.

Through the course of the process of building up these different teams, that brokerage, flip, rehab, and construction team, mentoring and coaching those teams along the way, you reach a certain level when people start to say, “How did you do it? Tell me how. Break it down.” We started doing events and we started doing meetups and masterminds. I went into this group coaching structure and then eventually morphed into one-on-one coaching. I get more passionate about working one-on-one directly with people because you get better results that way.

People hide in the crowd. Mastermind groups are awesome. I still attend them. I love being in certain groups and atmospheres, but it’s easy to go to a group like that and not get a lot out of it if you don’t put a lot into it. You can’t hide one-on-one. When you’re working with me, one-on-one, there’s nowhere to go. There’s nowhere to hide. I enjoy that much more. That’s how we transitioned into it.

REW 81 | Unlock Your True Potential

Unlock Your True Potential: It’s hard to coach theory. You have to coach practice – through trial and error and failing through pivoting.


Do you spend more time now in your business in real estate or in coaching? What would you say?

I would say it’s about 50/50 now. The way that I’ve designed my teams and my real estate development teams is to get me out of it. One of the big a-ha moments that I learned probably 5, 6, 7 years into business is when I started to have those almost stress-induced meltdown moments that a lot of people have where I’m chasing and constantly working.

I remember being at that point in time where I had two young little girls at that time, new marriage, a new house and all that type of thing. Chasing after the next deal, the next flip, the next commission check, the next salesperson and working 80, 90 hours a week to stay busy, productive and pretend that I was getting somewhere.

I felt I couldn’t chase fast enough. I couldn’t run fast enough. There weren’t enough hours in the day to catch up and I know a lot of people feel that way. I had this moment where I said to myself, “I don’t know how long I can do this.” In my young 30s, at this point and I’m like, “I’m going to die of a heart attack. This is crazy. I’m not taking care of my body. I’m not taking care of myself. I’m eating like crap. I’m missing dinner.

I’m even calling in late and tell my wife I can’t come home. I’m not putting my daughters to bed. Something’s not right. This isn’t the way I designed it.” I made a big switch at that point in time and said, “I got to redesign my business to serve my lifestyle.” This is not why we get into business, to begin with. Isn’t that the whole concept is to create a business that serves our life.

Most of us give up our lives and the business owns us. It’s exactly what you’re talking about. I’m excited to hear about how you moved through that. I personally have moved through that several times, myself. Every single time you build a business, you get passionate about it. You have given everything at some point. You’re like, “I need to transfer out of that.” I’ve been through that transition myself several times.

Talk to us a little bit. We’re hopefully on the other side of the pandemic. A lot of us have been talking about the whole idea of a pivot. Changing our lives to be maybe economically resilient. Taking a brick and mortar and turning it into an online business. There’s a lot of pivoting that’s happening. Could you talk to us about your perspective on pivoting?

I heard this great saying at a podcast. At the beginning of COVID, sometimes these natural adversities that happen to us, like a COVID, a pandemic, or a thing like that, create these adversities in our life and our business that sometimes force us into uncomfortable situations, make us do certain things. The reality of it is maybe we should have been doing those things all along. Look at this vast dichotomy of different industries and businesses. During COVID, there was a subset of businesses, restaurants and hotels that there’s no pivot. You can’t stop people or create a business when your business is having people come in to eat.

You then see these other businesses that took off. That had 10 X the revenue and blew up and were hiring people. I believe it blew up because of the adversity. They made changes that they probably ought to have made several years ago. They downsized their offices. They went virtual. They created an opportunity for people. For me, one of my sales teams went virtual overnight.

We had thirteen people coming into the office to make phone calls. We said, “March 13th, 2020, it’s Sunday night. Monday morning, everyone on the Zoom.” Within a couple of months, that sales team, which is constantly recruiting in sales teams, went from all local salespeople to people working for me in Panama, California, Canada and New Mexico.

All of a sudden, I have this diverse pool of amazingly talented human beings from all over North America working for me, not just in my local area. I don’t know that I would’ve made that pivot had COVID not created that diversity for me. Sometimes pivots happen naturally. Sometimes pivots are things that we’re forced into but also, in business, we have to know in our gut when it’s time to make a pivot and not hold on and ride that ship into the ground too.

Talk to me a little bit more about that. Knowing when it’s appropriate and how to create that pivot?

At this level, it’s about deciding good business from bad business. Understanding how to take your mind out of it, going closer down to your heart and your guy. Making decisions down here instead of up here because here’s the thing, your mind a lot of times is going to create false images, emotions and things that maybe don’t exist. You tend to convince yourself or rationalize things that might not be the right move.

You might say to yourself, “I know this business isn’t doing well. It’s not making the revenue it should,” then we rationalize and tell ourselves, “There are good people that work there. It’s been around for a long time. What else are you going to do when you’ve been in this position for a long time?” If you break that rationalized word down into two parts, what we’re doing there is we’re telling ourselves rational lies about why the gut decision that you’ve already made was right all along. Now you’re convincing yourself, “Why not go with your gut?”

You have to take action in some direction and know that it's safe to fail. Share on X

We’ve all done this as business owners. How many times have you done this? You said to yourself, “I love that business opportunity, but I’m not ready for it. It’s too risky. That investment’s a little bit scary. I don’t know if I’m going to find the people to go along with me.” You know your guts telling you, “Do it.” You then rationalize, “I don’t know if that’s the right move for me,” if more business owners were learned to trust their instincts.

You don’t generally regret even the bad moves you made when you made them with your gut. If you look back on it, you’ll justify a gut mistake. When you make a mistake and you look back on you’re like, “I made a mistake, but I learned.” You regret the decisions that you made with your head that were bad mistakes. You look back on it and you’re like, “I didn’t analyze that enough. I didn’t count those figures. I wasn’t sure about that move. I should’ve thought more about that.” You’d regret the head mistakes. You don’t regret the gut mistakes.

In real estate, we see this all the time. You talked about one area that feels a little bit too risky. Even after we make the decision to take that risk, whether you’re flipping, you’re in construction. You’re looking for a renter or whatever it is that you’re doing, there’s a whole series of gut decisions that we have to make. Of course, you need to use your mind. We can’t use our gut.

We need to use our minds. We need to know the numbers. Businesses don’t work unless the numbers work. That’s the truth. All along the way, learning to trust your gut, it’s not in that one piece. It’s in the entire business. Who are you hiring? Who are you bringing on as part of your team? Who are you renting your places to? All of those pieces require getting in touch with who you are. That’s hard.

As business people, we’re trained, especially in this society, to be heady. It’s hard to get in touch with our guts. Do you have techniques or strategies? You have a lot of experience with it. For you, it’s now a natural thing. For me, that’s true too. I’ve been in business for many years. When your coaching clients come to you and say, “You haven’t had I get in touch with that.” What do you say?

Unlock Your True Potential: The more successful you get, the bigger the problems you have to solve.


It comes from practice, but it also comes from taking action. You have to take action in some direction and know that it’s safe to fail. It’s safe to fall. It’s going to happen. One of the biggest misnomers and it started becoming more into light because people are starting to talk about it. Several years ago, I felt everybody on Facebook was wealthy, perfect, every picture you took was amazing, they never did anything wrong and now, all of a sudden, the gurus are talking about how they fail all the time. The gurus are talking about how difficult things are and that’s the truth.

The truth in business is I get punched in the face every single day. The more successful I get, the harder I get hit. The more successful I get, the bigger the problems are that I have to solve. In fact, it’s the flip side of that. The more successful that you get, the more that you want to chase bigger obstacles to overcome. The more that you want to find bigger problems to tackle, the bigger your dreams get.

Jim Rohn has this amazing video and he was talking about the bigger, my dreams and my purpose are, the bigger, the things are that I want to chase. They become magnets. When I am magnetized towards my dreams and I’m being pulled through the trenches, mud, bad days, challenges, I have a bigger purpose dragging me through that. For people who are starting out, you have to decide, and this doesn’t happen far off enough. Why are you doing it? Are you doing it because you saw it on HGTV? Are you doing it because you want to build wealth? Are you doing it because you want to take care of your kids?

Fill in the blanks. Every one of us has a reason or has a why, but I don’t like it to be that, “What’s your why?” I like it to be, “What’s the purpose behind it?” People say I want to make $100,000 a month. Great. Why? What are you going to do with it? Nobody knows why. They always say I want to make $100,000 a month, but you don’t know why. You start to dial it in. You’re like, “I would give $10,000 a month in my church.” Let’s write that down. I would do this, I would do that and then you find out that $50,000 a month is a ton of money for certain people. It’s all relative.

The reason I say that is we’re always chasing someone else’s dreams. If you’re chasing someone else’s dreams, there’s no magnet in that because all I’m doing is looking across the table and saying, “I want to be like you.” There’s no why to that. There’s no purpose. There are no results. There’s no passion behind me wanting to be you. There’s passion in me chasing my dreams and being magnetized toward a bigger goal.

There were many little nuggets that I would love. That was unbelievable. Thank you for that. I agree with it and I’m not going to ruin it with my own commentary on that. What I did want to say for my ladies, to add my perspective on one piece of this, is that we talk on this show a lot about bliss. The way that I define it is this deep sense of joy and contentment. The confidence he can handle anything that comes your way. It’s about emotional mastery and emotional resilience. What I want to point out about this is that bliss does not mean that light is easy.

Bliss does not mean that we don’t have a full range of emotions. It means we live in a particular emotional place and that emotional predisposition allows us to have filters that help us to see the world in a certain way. I’m calling it bliss because, for me, it is a true joy to live like that. Does that mean that I’m not constantly chasing a bigger challenge?

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal. Share on X

No. My life is not fulfilled unless there are challenges in it. Those challenges are what make me feel alive. Ladies, when you hear bliss, don’t hear easy. Don’t hear, “I’m always happy all the time.” Don’t hear there are no challenges because none of that is true. What is true is that it allows you to have a predisposition to succeed. That was the only thing I wanted to add to that.

That was perfect.

Talk to me about this idea of having the right aces in their places. I know we’re going to talk a deep dive on that in EXTRA, but could you give us a high-level view on that?

Aces in their places mean one thing. I wrote a book called Multiplicity and it talks about the five freedoms. One of those freedoms, we always talk about financial freedom. That’s all you ever here. I will say this you can’t have financial freedom without the other four. One of those four is what we call relationship freedom. It is the ability to work with, to be with, to engage with, to have friends who are people who you want to be in your tribe.

When I talk about aces in their places, I’m talking about creating a culture and an opportunity around you inside of your business and your life. What that looks like is if it’s a side hustle, if you’re starting as an investor and you want to go build a team. You still need to have aces in their places. You need to have a great realtor. You have a great insurance person. You need to have great subcontractors, potentially. You need to have great electricians and plumbers and material suppliers.

Creating aces in their places for me, it’s finding out who are the people who are going to help me create the opportunity to succeed. That I can also help them along the path, it’s never a one for one, or it’s an I take and I don’t give. It’s how do I create alignment with your unique ability, something that you are passionate about that I know that you’re going to be successful there and I know that I can help you gain. How do I take that superpower? We all have a superpower.

I say this all the time, you might be the most amazing ice skater, house builder or cake baker, but if I find out that you’re the most amazing person and I could somehow put you in a seat or a place where we get paid together to do that and I can create an opportunity for you, that makes me a good visionary. That makes me a good leader because now we both benefit.

I’ve created an opportunity for you to be passionate about what you do and go exercise that passion because, let’s face it, not everybody is an entrepreneur. You might not be an entrepreneur. You might’ve been stuck in a 9:00 to 5:00, which you were afraid to leave. Now I’ve created an opportunity for you to make way more money and opportunity doing what you love to do in an environment that you love to do it.

That’s creating aces in their places. It’s trying to find the right passion, the right unique ability and create an opportunity where these people can work in harmony and team up to be great at what they do. Ultimately replace me and replace each other. Even if I’m the CEO, I tell everybody on my team, “I want you to replace me. I don’t want to be the CEO. I want to be on the board somewhere.” That’s the idea. The idea is that you work your way out, right or work me out of a job. This idea of creating aces in their places is understanding your people’s true passion and abilities. Making sure that they’re performing at their best based on what they’re great at.

Unlock Your True Potential: Relationship freedom is the ability to work with, engage with, and be friends with the people you want to be in your tribe.


My next question is, how do you do that? We’re going to talk about that in EXTRA. We’ll do a deep dive on that because it’s what Joe’s magic is. It’s what he does best. I want to get a deep dive into that. You talk a lot about culture. For me, in my real estate business, I outsource everything. My realtor, my finance people, my insurance, all of that. That’s an all-in outsourced thing in my business. Is building a culture important? How do you do that?

Think about it. Why do people go to work for a guy like Elon Musk? The guy’s certified a bit crazy. He says, “We’re going to Mars.” What happens? The top engineers on the planet quit their jobs to go work for him for little to no money. They will take a pay cut to move to some desert in Texas, to live out of a sea container, to work for him because of his vision and the culture that he’s created. That’s how important culture is.

People want to be part of a greater good, a greater contribution. They want to be part of something bigger. As the visionary, you have two jobs. Your job is to create the vision. What is the story? Where are we going? Be crystal clear about that, that people could believe you. You can’t change your mind every fifteen minutes or people are going to be like, “I don’t know who’s driving the bus. I’m terrified.” Create that story and then back it up with opportunity.

I’ve created a story. The story might be bigger and scarier. Trust me. I’m sure there are times where Elon lays his head down at night and says to themselves, “How the heck are we going to get to Mars? I don’t even know how we’re going to do this. I don’t know if all the top engineers in my company know how we’re going to do this.” I’m sure he second-guesses himself but as a visionary, you have to constantly be driven towards that mission and creating opportunity.

Now you have to fill the aces in their places. I got to figure out who’s going to get me to that vision? How does my team going to build around this vision? Where am I missing links? I call them my TBDs, my to-be-determined seats. How am I going to fill this bus with the right people to get me to that vision because my vision is way greater than the people who are surrounding me or it should be? If you want bigger dreams, you need bigger visions.

As a visionary, it’s not visionary if it’s comfortable. If it’s not keeping you up at night, if you don’t have self-doubt, if you don’t have the, “I have no idea how this is going to happen,” then it’s not visionary. It’s been done. Just because people are visionary, confident and successful does not mean that they don’t have self-doubt, that they don’t frequently stay up at night going, “What am I thinking?” Yet, they can’t let go. You don’t have to be a visionary to be successful. That’s the other thing that I would do want to tell you, ladies, because I know a lot of you want to buy a couple of houses. You want to put your kids through school.

You don’t want to have this huge vision that is awesome too. It takes all of us to make the world go round. Understanding all the way from the bottom, all the way to the top, we all have self-doubt that should not be something that stands in your way. It’s a mandatory requirement in order to expand your life. You’re not going to expand if you sit in the same place where there’s no self-doubt.

The definition of success, people have all these different measuring tools of comparing themselves to others. Earl Nightingale essentially said that success is creating a worthy goal and working towards it. That’s it. Whatever your worthy goal is. If your worthy goal is to create five rental properties and have some passive income for your family, that’s your goal.

There’s nobody who’s going to sit back and say to you, “That’s not good enough.” The reality of it is if you have 1 or 2 rental properties, you’re in the top 5% of Americans and that’s amazing. Nobody should be standing there saying to you, “The guy down the street has fifteen.” Who cares? The reality of it is you’re doing what success is for you.

I want to emphasize that, Joe. Do what success is for you. Not for me, Joe, your dad, your colleagues, or your kids. It’s important when you’re setting your goals and getting connected with your culture. What is it that you’re trying to put out there? What is it that you’re trying to achieve? Your big why. All of those have to do with you, not anybody else. Can you talk to me about the best investment you made and why?

I’ve invested millions of dollars in real estate. I always still say this to this day, that the best investment that I’ve ever made is in myself. I have for several years now had masterminds and one-on-one coaching. I’ve hired coaches for everything, mentors, personal trainers, well over six figures a year for several years, sometimes probably in the double six-figures. Everybody’s different and it’s not a measuring contest. One of the biggest challenges that people have is they want to get better, but they’re chasing away from investing in themselves. When you invest in yourself, you have skin in the game.

I’ll never forget one of my first coaches. This is probably going back many years now that I think about it. I was a real estate agent and my first coach was $500 a month or something like that, which is not a ton of money, but it’s not pennies. At that time, she was twice as much as my car payment. I was leasing an Acura back then. I was thinking to myself, “I got to close an extra deal or two a month to justify having a coach.” She was incredible. She helped me to be accountable. I was petrified to get on the phone with her every week. Thinking to myself, “If I don’t show up prepared and ready to go with my numbers,” Carol’s going to hang up on me.

“She’s not going to let me go. She is not light on me.” If I would answer that phone and be lazy, she would hang up. That was it. There was no callback. We had 45 minutes every Tuesday. She made me a better salesperson because she made me accountable and committed to my numbers. I remember immediately getting results. By month two, I had doubled my sales. By month six, I was the top salesperson in my entire office and I was 24 years old. I remember thinking back, “This coaching thing’s wild.” You got to take a gamble on yourself. You got to put some money out, but it’s wild having somebody who’s what I call a co-creator.

A great coach shouldn’t be telling you what to do or how to do it. They should be co-creating with you. They should be working you through it because the reality of it is you probably have had most of the world experience you need to get the results. A lot of times, simplicity is the path to mastery. A lot of times, it’s right in front of us and we’re looking for all these shiny objects. We’re all over the place trying to figure it out.

The reality of it is, for the most part, with a notepad, a pen and a cell phone, we can be successful. We’re chasing all these other shiny objects and inevitably, we end up in our way. Sometimes dialing it down, hiring the right person, having the right conversation and focusing on what I call high-gain and high-income activities it’s all you need to do to get what you want out of life and business.

A great coach shouldn't be telling you what to do or how to do it. They should be co-creating with you. Share on X

I love that because much of the time, I talk about the best way to set up your business and the streamline it is to start with a spreadsheet. What are the activities that you’re doing? My advice has to do with having a Word doc that you can access from anywhere to take certain notes or do a spreadsheet. People are all about the high-tech solutions, all the cool stuff, the CRMs and where do you get your leads and all of this stuff, the call centers.

Sometimes do with simple, intuitive and start there. Don’t get into all the shiny objects as far as strategies and opportunities, but there are also shiny objects on how we are running our business. I love it when another super successful person says, “A piece of paper and a pen.” That’s where we start. It can be as simple as that.

I have the saying that experts don’t know how to add. They know how to subtract. Always trying to add more, add more, “What else can I put on my plate?” The reality of it is not on your calendar, plate, personal life or your home life. I know we’re talking to a lot of ladies who are reading. I coach a lot of dads. I’m coaching more on personal life than I am on business.

The reality of it is people come to me because they want their businesses to scale. What do we do? We turn around, I go, “Tell me about your home life? How are you taking care of your body, mind, kids and your wife? What does it look like at home?” We start working on that stuff and immediately start making more money.

It’s like, “When I become a better dad, I start making more money.” I never thought about that. When I started dating my wife again, all of a sudden, my life became happier. No kidding. This is the reality of things. We look past the seemingly simple stuff, which is the basics. You ask somebody, “Why do you do what you do?” “I do it for my kids. I do it for my family.”

“Why do you miss every soccer game? Why do you not have family dinners? Why haven’t you taken your wife on a date in nine months? Why haven’t you bought her flowers in many years?” They go, “I never thought about that.” You’re not doing anything for your family. It’s a ruse. You’re making it up. What I want to do is dial back to let’s become a better person at home, in my life, and now, all of a sudden, the money is easy.

We have time and money. That’s our two resources. That’s it. I’m sure you’ve been in real estate and you’ve lost money. I’m positive about it. I’ve lost millions of dollars in the process of making millions of dollars. I’ve lost time. I’ve never gotten time back. You can’t get five minutes back. You can’t get 30 seconds back. You can get your money back.

You can lose a lot of money now and get it all back tomorrow. How many successful people do you know have filed for bankruptcy? I know quite a few. I don’t know anybody that’s ever gotten a minute back. Focusing on home life is generally one of the things that increase financial life. We got off topic there for a minute. I don’t know how we ended up going down that rabbit hole.

That’s how I’ve coached. I was an executive coach for many years and that’s exactly what it was, is get your life back in alignment with who you are. My last question before we move towards the three rapid-fire questions is how can my readers become fearless? Do you have tips for that?

Tony Robbins has this great thing. He says there’s the four S’s and I don’t want to jump into all of them, but there’s state story strategy and standards. The story is our identity. It’s who we are. With that, going down this crazy rabbit hole, you get to decide who you are. You could decide tomorrow you’re going to be a more aggressive salesperson. You could decide tomorrow you’re going to become a happier person and treat everyone nicer. You get to decide. That’s the craziest part about who we are as human beings.

We’re the only species who can wake up tomorrow and be someone different. Fearless is an identity. What’s keeping you from being fearless 99% of the time is some limiting belief. It’s something that somebody taught you, some experience that you had, or some past belief that you’ve learned along the way that got you to this point that’s holding you back. We call these paradigm shifts.

We’re all experiencing these paradigm shifts. As we go through life, I call it the model of our world, our MOW. We all have a model of the world that we’re looking through, almost like a lens and we’re changing prescription glasses constantly. We’re upgrading our site through a different lens. I say, “If you’re looking in the mirror and you’re looking at the person you are now, most likely the person from six months ago couldn’t handle the challenges. If you’re growing as a person, as an entrepreneur or as a leader, six months ago, you couldn’t handle the challenges you’re handling now or maybe several years ago.”

Put things into perspective. What are we being fearless about? What are we trying to overcome? You’ve probably overcome challenges in the last several months that the person of you several years ago wouldn’t even consider stepping into that obstacle or wouldn’t even consider being in that atmosphere. I look at what we’re doing now from a development perspective. To keep it personal a little bit, I’m developing self-storage deals. I used to flip over 100 houses a year. One development deal is worth ten times more than all the houses I’ve flipped in one year and it’s scary. You have to put yourself into a different paradigm. You have to put on a different set of glasses.

What I would say is reflection is one of those ways to determine what my limiting belief is. What is it that I’m afraid to step into? How do I create that big dream that’s going to magnetize me to pull myself through this little obstacle? The reality of it is when you get to the other side, when you get closer and closer to that big dream, you’re going to look back and you’re going to say to yourself, “What was I afraid of?”

I remember when that thing I was doing was scary and now I look back on and go, “I remember when it was scared to flip the house.” I didn’t see the last 400 that we did. I never stepped foot on them. I’m not saying that to brag again because that’s not the point. The point is that you get past a certain point of scary and all of a sudden, it becomes mundane.

In order to become fearless, I think perspective has a big part of it. Remember, all problems are problems of perspective. Some problems for people who are reading now are not problems for you. Some problems for you aren’t problems for me. Maybe my problems aren’t problems for you. It’s all a matter of perspective the way we look at them. I think unlocking those limiting beliefs, trying to figure out what’s holding you back, pushing you to the next level or helping you get to that next level is all-important steps there.

Unlock Your True Potential: What’s keeping you from being fearless 99% of the time is some limiting belief.


I released my first TEDx Talk and it’s been a two-year journey for me from what I decided to do or was asked to do it and finally realized. Once I landed it, I had to write the talk because you don’t write the talk to you, land it because there’s a theme and all this stuff. I had to write the talk and then I had to give the talk. The video gets released and you see if anybody liked it. It’s like heroin.

The thing is that when I made that decision a long time ago to do it, I couldn’t see me on the red dot. I couldn’t see what was going to happen. I didn’t even know what the big message was or that I was good enough. Part of being fearless is saying, “I don’t know what this is going to look like, but I identify myself as being fearless and therefore, I will keep stepping forward.”

When you do that, on the other side, you’re forever changed. It may not be something as dramatic as I did my TED Talk because there was a deadline and something happened that I’m forever changed. I loved what you talked about with how much you’ve accomplished in the last years and understand that you are forever changed if you continue to grow. It could be an event or it could be a time period, but recognize that and recognize that being fearless is simply an identity. It allows you to take the next step.

I’ll add to that. I believe that the TEDx piece that you’re going through had to be a decision from the heart and the gut. That’s what got you there. You know it’s the right thing and that’s why you decided from there and move forward. I think it’s going to be incredible for you.

Before we get into the three rapid-fire questions and EXTRA, could you tell us how we can get in touch with you, Joe?

People can visit me on social media, Facebook or LinkedIn. It’s all Joe Evangelisti or @JoeEvangelisti. They could also go to LegacyBuilder.coach if they’re interested in coaching or one-on-one.

You have a gift that you give there. Could you tell us about that?

If they go to LegacyBuilder.coach, my team will do a fifteen-minute one-on-one session to tell people to unlock time. I find one of the biggest challenges is what we call controlling the clock. We’ll do a fifteen-minute one-on-one session to help you unlock time and create a little bit more timeframe for you.

That’s the only resource we never get back. Thank you so much for that. Joe, are you ready for our three rapid-fire questions?

Let’s do it.

Tell us one super tip in getting started investing in real estate.

You got to get started. Find a way to get started one way or the other. The joint venture, go take down a property, find it with private money. If you’re going to put 20% down, find a property and take a step towards it. There are many ways and methodologies in getting started nowadays. You can buy a duplex and live in half. You can buy a quad and live in one of the units. I’ve seen many in the last couple of years, friends of mine, who’ve gotten started doing it that way.

If the risk is your concern, do it that way. Live in half of it. Be a landlord and live in half of it. Take action in what we call intelligent and inspired action. Don’t overanalyze. I was interviewing somebody and she called and said to me, “I have a real estate degree. I have an MBA and I went through FortuneBuilders and paid them $75,000.” I go, “That’s amazing. How much real estate do you own?” She says, “I never bought a property.”

You’ve made an investment of $200,000 into your education and you’ve never bought a rental property. I barely graduated high school, folks. I went through a bunch of colleges only because the Navy paid me to go through a bunch of colleges and I still never got my degree anywhere. I built a portfolio worth millions of dollars. I can do it. I’m not smart. I feel like too many people over-analyze and get afraid of the risk instead of taking it. You’re going to screw things up. Go out there and test the waters. That’s the only way it’s going to work.

Tell us one strategy for being successful as a real estate investor.

One strategy is to get involved, get invested. The second piece is to build a great team. You have to be thorough about who’s on your team, who you do business with, or who your joint venture partners are. Protect yourself first. A lot of people I see get involved are worried about doing a deal that they’re not paying attention to how much equity they give out or bringing in their best friend as their partner. Next thing you know, there are four people in on a single-family house. The reality of it is if you’re smart, you’re the one doing the research, you know what you’re doing, you’re capable, you can raise the money or you have the money, go out there and take it, do it, buy that duplex.

You don’t need four partners to do it with. Go out there and take a step forward. Get a mentor, get a coach. A lot of times, you’re better off paying somebody a couple of thousand dollars to mentor you rather than take on a partner and give them 50% of the deal. You’re going to wake up a couple of years from now, and you’re going to put a couple extra $100 thousand in your pocket as a result. That’s a better investment in my mind to help somebody get involved in a deal.

Ladies, recognize that when he’s talking about a team, he did talk about a mentor as part of the team. That’s a different way of looking at that. Your mentor or your coaches are part of the team. They’re part of the business ecosystem. Talk to us about one daily practice that you would say contributes to your personal success.

The daily practice that I can’t live without is my morning routine. I usually get up at 4:00. I go to the gym. I work out from 5:00 to 6:00. I come home. I meditate, I journal, I read and I do all this to get prepared for my girls who are going to start school because I want all my routine done before I wake them up in the morning. My time with my daughters is in the morning. I get them dressed in the morning. I have breakfast with them and I take them to school. For me, it’s early in the morning. The reason I give you that asterisk is I want people to work in what I call their zone of genius.

Find a way to get started one way or the other. Share on X

My zone of genius is getting stuff done early in the morning. I’m most productive when I build that protection mechanism around my head and my mind. I work on my body and my mind first thing in the morning. Some people can’t do that. Some people have practiced that and they’re like, “I’m miserable. I can’t get up at 4:00 AM.” Don’t do it. If you’re amazing from 10:00 AM to 12:00 midnight, then protect that time. Be good at that time. Have a routine and rituals that work for your zone of genius. Figure out when your time is to be amazing. When you can be quiet, alone and alone with your thoughts, that’s going to help you accelerate the growth and get you closer to your dreams.

This has been amazing, Joe. This conversation, I want to read it all over again. Thank you so much.

Thanks for having me. It was great.

We’ve got more ladies. We’re going to be talking about getting the aces in their places. We’re going to talk about how to do that, which we’ve talked a lot on the show about building teams. I love Joe’s perspective on this. I’m excited for that deep dive. For those of you that are already subscribed to EXTRA, we’ve got more. If you’re not subscribed to EXTRA, this might be the time you want to.

Go to RealEstateInvestingForWomenEXTRA.com. You get the first seven days for free. Check it out and you can stay subscribed or not. For those of you that are leaving, Joe and I, thank you so much for joining us. Until then, remember, goals without action are just dreams. Get out there, take action and create the life your heart deeply desires.


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About Joe Evangelisti

REW 81 | Unlock Your True Potential

Joe Evangelisti is a high-performance coach with over 5,000 hours of coaching experience under his belt. His mission is to assist real estate investors, entrepreneurs, and business professionals in exercising their true power and finding their hidden potential to achieve more success, wealth, and freedom than they ever thought possible. Joe creates life-changing transformation by providing clients with the tools and strategies needed to create unstoppable momentum and break through obstacles. He’s helped hundreds of business owners to build better teams and cross the 7, 8, and 9 figure mark.

In addition to his private coaching practice, Joe serves as the CEO of three 7 and 8 figure companies, and his real estate portfolio includes single-family, multi-family, self-storage, and cold storage. Prior to building his business and real estate empire, Joe served in the military as a Builder in the US Navy Seabees. He holds Letters of Commendation from the US Navy and The White House, a Letter of Appreciation from President Clinton, and numerous service medals. Joe lives with his wife Ashley and their 2 girls in beautiful Haddonfield, New Jersey.


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