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Sallie Wagner: Increasing Your Real Estate Investments With Physical, Mental, And Social Resilience – Real Estate Women

REW Sallie | Real Estate Investments


Mindset is everything. It is one of the ingredients that draws success. In today’s episode, Sallie Wagner, a number one international bestselling author, shares the tools she used to increase her real estate investments. Without taking action with the right mindset and skillset, we wouldn’t be able to reach our path to success. In this conversation, Sallie shares that social resilience is the driving factor in building your network and an outlet to ask for help or to provide help when needed. If you wish to increase your real estate investments, tune in now to this episode and learn more from Sallie!

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Sallie Wagner: Increasing Your Real Estate Investments With Physical, Mental, And Social Resilience – Real Estate Women

Real Estate Investing For Women

I am excited to welcome to the show, Sallie Wagner. She is a number one international bestselling author, lawyer, real estate broker, speaker, and life alchemist. She provides broker and contracts compliance consulting services to 2,500 plus real estate agents throughout Florida. She also owns and operates a real estate school. Her powerful transformation tools include the Emotional Freedom Technique, which you guys have heard EFT, and Neuro-Linguistic Programming, NLP, clients move into action for rapid concrete results. Clients reclaim conscious choices in their lives and discover and live the life that makes them come alive. Welcome to the show, Sallie. How are you?

I’m fabulous. Thank you so much for having me.

I have been looking forward to this show. I love my mindset shows, and the strategy shows are important but I’m all about the mindset with the Blissful Investor thing. Could you give us a high-level version of how you got to where you are? Why are you doing real estate, and why are you taking this angle?

I spent most of my career in the corporate world positions like general counsel, house counsel, and those things primarily real estate related. I worked for big corporations managing and working on real estate transactions. I have always been involved in real estate throughout my decades, long career, longer than I care to admit. When I looked at going out on my own, it was natural that I would start doing something in real estate. That’s how I started my own business providing compliance services to real estate brokerages. I teamed up with my colleague now. We do broker and compliance services to brokerages throughout Florida.

Talk to us a little bit about why you chose mindset as the thing that you want to talk about now. I know how important it is. Why is that your highlight?

Everything comes from that. Bob Proctor said, “It’s 95% mindset and 5% what you do.” It all starts with a mindset. When you think about it, it makes sense because mindset includes the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. We have this constant chatter. What are the things you are telling yourself? Are they things about, “I’m successful, productive, and powerful? I can be in business on my own,” or is it the snarky six-year-old who is going, “What are you smoking? What are you thinking about?” You wish you could do all those things. It all starts with a mindset.

If I may, I do a lot with critical thinking, and there’s a progression. It will sound familiar to people, I’m sure but thoughts determine feelings, feelings determine decisions, decisions determine actions, actions determine results, and results reinforce those thoughts. Everything starts with thoughts. Everything starts with a mindset.

Thoughts determine feelings; feelings determine decisions; decisions determine actions; actions determine results; and results reinforce those thoughts. So everything starts with thoughts. Everything starts with a mindset. Share on X

I was having a conversation with a woman. We are starting to invest in some different things. My husband handles the stock portfolio. I handle the real estate portfolio but I’m interested in some other explorations now. There are many new opportunities. I want to discover all this stuff. I’m talking to this one woman about some of this stuff, and she has a mastermind that they have developed. It’s three women. One of the women is very wealthy. She was like, “I will put $400,000 into this investment.” It makes me choke. I can’t imagine putting $400,000 into anything that’s not real estate. Anything that’s liquid but that’s silliness too.

She was funny because she said, “Hanging out with this woman, my mind has completely changed. I look at things in a different way and make quicker decisions. I have a lot more confidence in my decisions, and I’m not derailed by people around me that are telling me that it’s not going to work or they are expressing all of their fears and projecting those onto me in my decision-making process.”

I was proud of her. There were two big things that I took away from that. I didn’t need to share with her. She was doing a great job but those two things that I loved were understanding that your mindset is going to determine your success for all of the reasons that you said. The second thing is that your mindset will evolve based on the people that you hang out with. Much of the time, people out there are scared of real estate, the stock market, and all these other things because they don’t know, and that’s fair.

It’s because they are scared, it does not mean that when they share their fear and impose that on you or project it on you, you have to take that on. You need to be around people that are going to uplift your mindset and support your goals. If there are people that are where you want to be, and they say, “That’s not a good idea,” that’s the person you listen to. You want to listen to your mentors, coaches, and people that are successful in the industry that you are looking to be successful in. In general, most of us don’t understand.

I experience fear around crypto, NFTs, and all these words that I don’t understand but because I understand that I don’t want other people projecting their fear onto me, I’m careful not to project my fear around those things onto people that are successful at that or starting out in that. My only suggestion is to make sure that your mentor, where you are learning, is someone who is where you want to be. They have experienced success over the long-term.

Even crypto has been around for several years. People can have gone through cycles and experienced the roller coaster that Bitcoin is. Whatever it is that you are investing in, don’t take on there. Hang out with the right people but your mindset is the first place because if you are not in the right mindset, those people are not going to want to hang out with you.

Isn’t that true? If you were, “I’m scared. I don’t want to do it. I can’t take action. This won’t work,” and all those things. Those people don’t want to hang out with you because you pull them down. We always want to hang out with people who are our equals or our peers and learn from one another. The one thing that you do not want to be bringing to the table is negativity.

I hijacked that but that’s why I’m excited about this conversation. Not only because it’s you, Sallie, and I’m excited to talk to you but I had this conversation and saw the level of success that is created by managing that mindset. Talk to me about some of the tools that you use. We are going to be talking about the tools of the business but the tools that you use for your mindset.

I use the acronym M*S*G, Mindset, Skillset, Get Off Your Asset. It gets a chuckle. It’s memorable and brings together some important principles. As important as mindset is, most of us are not taught to have that right mindset. If anything, we are taught not to because, as you said, we have all these messages from people around us. We are constantly bombarded with society, family, and friends. Most of them are all well-meaning, and yet, it changes our mindset to one that is suboptimal.

We're constantly bombarded by society, family, and friends, which changes our mindset to suboptimal. To have that mindset, many times, we need a new skill set. We need to learn skills about how we identify mindset. How do we change it? Share on X

To have that mindset, many times, we need a new skillset. We need to learn skills about how we identify mindset. How do we change it? How do we maintain it? How do we make sure we are in the room with the right people? If you are in a room and you are the smartest, prettiest, funniest, and most successful, you are probably in the wrong room.

It feels super good. It’s a great ego boost. You will learn in every room. I don’t want to say you are not going to learn but you are going to be elevated if you are in a different room.

That’s part of the skillset to learn that and to listen to those mentors and people who are where you are planning to be because it is a plan and goal. You are going to get there. It’s a strategy. It’s not hope. It’s not wishing people who are where you are going. Those are the people you want to be around. You want to cultivate that mindset of openness to be able to receive that information instead of being close and going, “I know that. I have tried and done that. It didn’t work.” How many people do we hear like that? That’s a skillset.

I want to go back to that, Sallie. That is super important. I want to highlight it. Many of you ladies have heard this stuff before. You have even read it on my show before. There’s nothing new under the sun, ladies. It’s all said in different ways. There are new techniques that are altered, adjusted, and brought to the market and in our minds.

We have EFT on this show a lot. People were like, “I heard that on Moneeka’s show,” and then they will tune out. The thing is that if you are hearing it from a different voice, other things may click with you. The last EFT person that was on the show was in 2021, and she did a process for us. Maybe that didn’t work for you but you are a different person now than you were before. Your response to that technique may be different or maybe Sallie does it a little bit differently because there are different ways, and everybody puts their own personality into the process. That’s for the healer as well as for the recipient.

I know you, ladies, are respectful and great but don’t tune out because you have heard this before. Stay fully engaged and present. The other thing is that because you’ve heard something doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. If you have tried it, you are in a different place now. If you haven’t tried it and you’ve just heard it over and over again, you might consider trying it because nothing happens unless you take action.

I want to highlight that because I have heard it before, and I’m guilty of this all the time too. We have so much stuff coming into our minds and our worlds. The, “I have read it,” is a protection mechanism. When you are listening to somebody that you respect, put the I have read it aside and come with a beginner’s mind.

I’m holding my hands up. Studies show that when you hold your hands up, your mind is more open. You are more receptive to learning. You are better able to learn and retain information. Be open to knowledge from wherever it comes.

REW Sallie | Real Estate Investments

Real Estate Investments: Be open to knowledge from wherever it comes.


Ladies, you can go to BlissfulInvestor.com, so you can see how she was holding her hands. That was beautiful. Go ahead and keep going.

Skillset, and we have to put it into action. If we don’t take action, nothing happens, and nothing changes. That is an important skill to be able to take action because we have that tendency to procrastinate. We all do it. I have written articles on procrastination and how to overcome it. It’s a skill that we have learned to cope with certain things. Taking action is a skill that we can also learn to overcome that procrastination. It all goes back to the skillset and the mindset. That allows us to take action and put everything into practice. Otherwise, it’s a picture on the vision board.

REW Sallie | Real Estate Investments

Real Estate Investments: Taking action is a skill. We need to learn to overcome procrastination.


Part of the skill is learning to be decisive. It’s learning to trust yourself. Could you talk a little bit more about some of the skills that helped to build that mindset?

Anything that is resilience related. I speak a lot about resilience. It’s such an important thing, and resilience is M*S*G in practice. Four major areas of resilience in our lives, physical, emotional, mental, and social, all come together. As you build physical resilience, your body is more capable. You are better able to withstand the challenges that come to you if it’s stress, illness, injury or whatever it is.

There are specific ways to build that with physical activity. If you are sitting for more than an hour, studies show that your body is going to deteriorate. When you are coming up on the hour mark, stand up, move around, take a couple of steps, do something, get into physical activity, avoid negative substances, and binge-restrict behaviors.

The negative substances are not always about alcohol and drugs. It could be caffeine, gluten or whatever. It is harmful to me personally. Binge restrict is not always about eating and drinking. It could be that streaming service, all those things. Emotional resilience is our ability to access our positive emotions when we choose. That’s a mindset. We don’t get caught in those low-frequency emotions but can choose to respond rather than react to life events.

We have mental resilience. This is our ability to come up with systems and processes that have a different perspective mindset. Access our creativity, come up with creative solutions and consider different people’s perspectives on things that are opening our minds to mentors and knowledge. The last one is social resilience, which is our community. Our ability to ask for and give help to others, families, friends, neighbors or everyone in our community. Studies show that the more connected you are to your community, the more successful you are likely to be. All those things that can build resilience are important in life and business.

Could you talk to me a little bit about social resilience and what you mean by people being more successful based on social resilience?

Social resilience is our ability to connect with others, family, friends, society, communities, and groups that we are members of and the ability to know that there is somebody there when you need help, you can ask for help, and they will give it to you like a trusted mentor, for example. That’s social resilience. The ability to give help in return. The more connected we are socially, studies show that we tend to be more successful in life and business because we have those networks of people we can call upon. Here is a fun thing. People can build a little bit of social resilience. The next time you have a chance, shake hands with somebody. As you do that, tell them, “Thank you.”

I always refer to studies, and studies can say anything. However, the studies show that when we do that, the touch and the expression of gratitude, we produce a hit of oxytocin in our brains, which is the trust hormone. That makes it more likely for us to want to help and support each other in business, life, and whatever ways. The more we do that, the more we deepen that oxytocin trust bond and self-serving. That’s a fabulous time to ask somebody for a referral because you have already softened them up with oxytocin.

It has been such a fascinating thing over the pandemic over the last couple of years how our communities have changed dramatically. We spend more of our time on Zoom and less of our time touching one another and saying, “Hello.” Even when we see each other and are in each other’s energy space, we don’t touch each other.

We have changed the way that we socialize. Some of it’s certainly going to stick. I couldn’t have this interview with you, Sallie, if it weren’t for amazing Zoom. I love that. I think that our communities and having that physical, at least being in people’s energy space, are important. One of the big keys here that you mentioned, and I want to highlight it, does still need to be the right people. That does not mean you don’t hang out with your friends or family. The people that you love certainly have a place in your life and should. It should be valued, loved, and cherished.

When you are thinking about progressing in your business, you also need to have a community that supports that evolution, growth, expansion, open mind, new ideas, and lots of opportunities. You need that community to support you in that way, also. Much of the time, we are social resilience, and we focus on our personal life, like, “I need support because my parents are elderly. I need support because someone I love passed. I got something that I’m dealing with,” whatever it is.

I’m not good at asking for help. I’m getting better, and there’s a receiving it without feeling guilty. Those are all skillsets too. We are used to it in our personal lives. We tend not to want to do it in our business lives because, as women, we feel like it makes us look stupid. The problem is that if you are afraid of looking stupid, you are going to look stupid because you are not learning. You don’t know what you are doing. You are pretending that you are something that you are not. People can see right through that. Did you have anything you wanted to add to that?

I have experienced that myself, and for me, it was perfectionism. That mindset of, “I have to be perfect. If I ask somebody something, that shows I’m not perfect.” We miss out on many opportunities because of our mindset. I’m not perfect. More importantly, I don’t have to be. Something to remember here is that it’s not what you don’t know that holds you back. It’s what you do know that’s not true that holds you back. The idea that I have to be perfect is something that is not true that holds me back in business and life. When we can identify those things, and that’s all part of our mindset, then we are open to asking and receiving.

It's not what you don't know that holds you back. What you do know is not true – that’s what holds you back. Share on X

My little sister once said about my nephew because everybody was saying, “There was some stuff going on with him.” My little sister said, “He’s perfect just the way he is as long as you don’t compare him to other people.” That is something I take with me so much of the time because I’m like, “I don’t know this. I don’t want to look dumb. I don’t want to ask too many questions.”

It is about perfectionism because I remind myself, “You are perfect the way you are, as long as you don’t compare yourself to other people.” Allow yourself to be who you are because who you are now is you are heading to the next place. There are going to be people that are going to be delighted to help you get there.

Unless you ask questions, you are not going to know if you are hanging out with the right people because there are going to be people that are going to judge you and get snarky. Don’t hang out with them. Thank goodness you didn’t find that out after several years of investing in that relationship. Find out fast. If they are not going to tolerate your questions, curiosity, personality, and goals, they are not that person that’s going to help to elevate you.

That is another thing that brings up one of those things that we know that’s not true. Everybody has to like us, so we have to like everybody else. I’m not saying to treat people disrespectfully. However, it’s okay if you don’t want to be around certain people and they don’t want to be around you. Find the people who are supporting you in your goals, accomplishments, and vision of where you are going in life. That’s okay. Not everybody is going to be there.

Not only is it okay. It is preferred. We only got 24 hours in a day. You only have a certain amount of time to be social. Make sure it counts. Make sure it is fun and good for you. Make sure it is one of your bliss things, not one of your obligatory things. We only got so much to give. You want to make sure that when you are giving, you are also being nourished, elevated, and all of those things.

Maybe it’s me but I had similar conversations. It was such an epiphany when suddenly, it was like, “Not everybody has to like me and I’m okay.”

I’m a people pleaser too. I will be like, “The person didn’t like me.” Now, I give it about five minutes, and then I’m done. It doesn’t matter. I allow myself if I’m feeling sad or definitively if I did not have a connection with that person. It felt a little bit bad but then I realized, “That person that I didn’t have an affinity with if I tried to build that relationship, how many phone calls, emails, and time would it take to build a relationship with that I don’t have an affinity with and how much pressure and work?” If it was a fun person we were aligned with, then we enjoyed spending time together. This show is all about taking action. Let’s talk about taking action and creating a plan for building that mindset to achieve certain goals.

There are three things you want to consider with mindset, perspective, reason, and will. With perspective, we have talked about this before. It’s our ability to view things from other perspectives. We all probably remember the story of the blind men and the elephant. Each of them experienced the elephant in a different way, with trunk, tail, and tusks, and they defined it in a different way based on their perspective.

REW Sallie | Real Estate Investments

Real Estate Investments: There are three things you want to consider with mindset: perspective, reason, and will.


Could you tell us that story? I haven’t heard that one.

There were 9 or 10 men who were experiencing the elephant. One person had a trunk, a tusk, a tail, and an ear. They were all talking about, “What was the elephant? Describe it.” They all described it differently because they had all experienced a different part of the elephant. They were all right because there was the tail. That is what it felt like but they were all wrong because their perspective was incomplete. The truth is that our perspective is always incomplete.

Depending on what our perspective is, it’s either going to move you forward or hold you back. Be aware that we tend to have blinders on. That is partly because of our training and how our brains work with the reticular activating system. We see what we are looking for. We don’t see what we are not looking for. If you can open that up and take those blinders off, you broaden your perspective. That’s all part of the mindset. Become aware of that.

The easiest entry point into mindset is to look at the results you have in your life. If you are happy with those results, perfect. Do more of what you are doing. If there is a result that you are not quite happy with, then the easiest entry point to change that is to look at your thinking about that and change your thinking. All of that, and perhaps the answer as you change your thinking, is to have a different perspective. In LP, we call that reframing. Everybody heard about reframing. Tell yourself a different story, and you are going to get a different result.

REW Sallie | Real Estate Investments

Real Estate Investments: As you change, your thinking is to have a different perspective.


It’s funny because I will frequently say, “You are always making up stories. Everything that goes up in your mind, you are making up.” It’s your story. You might as well make up stories that make you feel blissful. Is it stories that make you feel bad?

I have a perfect example if you don’t mind. Years ago, I was with a successful real estate agent in this area, and she was doing some lead-gen cold calls. She was starting to make a call. She said, “I’m going to call up my friend, Bob.” I’m making up a name. I’m like, “She knows Bob.” She called him up, and he hung up on her. It was a cold call. She didn’t know this person. I thought from the way she approached it. It was her friend because that is the way she approached it. That was the story she was telling herself about Bob.

When he hung up on her, she was like, “We got disconnected.” I’m like, “Are you stupid? He hung up on you. You didn’t get disconnected.” She called him back and was like, “We got disconnected for some reason. I’m sorry.” She tried to talk to him again. He hangs up on her. She was like, “We got disconnected again. He needs a smile. I’m going to ask an agent on her team. I’m going to ask her to go and see him at his house and give him a smile because he needs somebody to make him smile.” That’s the perspective. That’s the story she was telling herself about. She was there to contact her friend, and if her friend was not happy to hear from her, he needed somebody to help him smile. Those are the stories that we can tell ourselves to change our results.

I love that you and I are mindset people, and we are both like, “What?” It’s funny because it sounds hokey. Those of us grounded in reality know what’s going on but does that help us? I don’t want to have fun doing cold calls. I would probably have a lot more fun if I had her attitude. The reality is that we create the story in our heads. We have the story. We create the reality for ourselves. We are not necessarily creating the reality for the world around us. Although many times we are because people take on our energy and start to experience life differently when they are around but you are experiencing your own personal response to any given situation.

That’s the emotional resilience to be able to tap into those positive emotions when we choose so that we are responding rather than reacting.

Emotional resilience is being able to tap into positive emotions when we choose so that we can respond rather than react. Share on X

Let’s talk about developing the action steps to achieve specific goals.

That is important because it is not only the goals. It’s the system and the process because goals can be overwhelming and intimidating. We look at the goal and think, “How am I ever going to get there?” It’s all about reverse engineering goal setting to the present. You ask yourself, and people will recognize this, “What is the one thing I can do that will move me in the direction of that goal?” I break it down into daily steps that will move me in the right direction every single day. It’s important to do that because if we’re focused on the goal, we’re living in a constant state of failure. I’m only successful when I get to the goal.

I’m going to lose 20 pounds. If I have only lost 19 pounds, I’m still a failure because I haven’t met the goal but if my goal is to improve my health and nutrition, and I’m doing things every single day, I’m successful every single day because I’m moving in the right direction. Systems and processes over the goals always. Break it down into daily steps. “What am I going to do now that will continue to move me in the right direction?”

That may change from day-to-day because we are going to course correct. It’s not always a straight line to that goal. The NASA Apollo moon projects were off course 97% of the time and made it to the moon and back. It was because of that constant course correction. We are always going to be adjusting and correcting our course from day-to-day, and yet, we are still moving in the right direction.

One way that you can launch into action is, first of all, to write your goal and your steps down. When you do that, you increase your chances of success to 56%. There are only three steps. The next step is to share that goal with somebody. You have an accountability partner. Maybe it’s your mentor, a coach or whomever but it’s an accountability partner because we can’t hold ourselves accountable. We have to have somebody else do it. When you do that and come up with those daily action steps, you increase your chances of success to 64%.

The accountability partner should not be someone who is going to be supportive all the time. What I mean by this is that you should be embarrassed if you report that you didn’t achieve your goal. Not like so much that you don’t want to show up or get the response from the other person that you don’t like them anymore. I do think that it’s important that you should be embarrassed with your accountability partner to say, “I didn’t do it.”

You should feel like you have to explain why and what your plan is to catch up. Your accountability partner is not your best buddy where you were both like, “I didn’t lose anything last week.” “I didn’t lose anything last week, either.” We might as well get a milkshake. I had those accountability partners. I’m telling you, it has the opposite effect.

It’s a weird thing because I have these in my life. It’s not that you want to do it for them. Somehow there is something about that relationship that inspires you to be the best you. That is why you do it. Not to please them but to honor yourself. If that makes sense.

You should value their opinion enough that if they say something that’s hard to hear, you are able to step back and not get all flustered, offended or defensive. You are able to say, “Maybe they have a point. Let me think about that.”

You need to be willing to listen with open hands. Listen so that you are receptive to the learning and without being defensive that you are going to go, “What do they know?” The third piece is to make progress reports back to that accountability partner, which is what you were saying. At least once a week, you are reporting back on your progress over the past week because accountability is key, and the progress report is key. When you do that, you increase your chances of success up to 76%.

You must be willing to listen with open hands to be receptive to learning. Share on X

I want to say that this isn’t hocus-pocus. If you know anybody in corporate, what have they instilled? It’s the agile program. They got two-week sprints. At the end of those two weeks on their deadline, they have to report to everybody what they achieved, how they had the course correct, what didn’t work, and what did work. If now you found that that system that you guys were all working on isn’t working, you have to course correct completely new products and new features.

The whole agile framework is about accountability. That’s all it is. They know that they got a two-week window to achieve a certain number of goals. They are given, discussed or created those goals all for themselves and have a whole accountability meeting to figure out what’s next. It’s done in corporate all the time. I haven’t yet met anybody in the last several years that is not on some version of the agile format. It’s because we may not be in corporate, and we may not have that experience. You have to create it for yourself. With agile, they do a two-week thing. Sallie is recommending one week. You need to find what works well for you. 1 month or 3 weeks is usually not going to work.

It takes too long in between reports because it is easy not to do it. You think, “I got a whole month before I have to do it.” It never happens. You are setting yourself up not to succeed there.

This has been good. Thank you so much.

It’s a pleasure.

Ladies, we have a surprise for you in EXTRA. Sallie, who’s an NLP master, is going to give us a process. She calls it the Ring of Power, which is stacking anchors so that you can choose different states. We call it in NLP states. A state is like confidence, passion, calm, self-reliance, and joy. There are lots of different states, and you can use these states for different things. I have different Rings of Power for when I’m going on a date with my husband, making cold calls, sitting at my desk, speaking or doing a show.

You can create these different rings that you can hold at different times so that you can use them in your life. We never had anybody do it for you ladies on this show. It’s a tool that I use all the time, every day. I got many of them. I’m super excited that she is going to be sharing that with you. It will be a useful tool. I’m excited that Sallie has been generous enough to offer that in EXTRA. Thank you for that.

It’s a pleasure.

Sallie, could you tell them a little bit about your free gift?

It is an eBook. It is entitled, Reboot Your Thinking With M*S*G. We have already talked about what M*S*G is. Reboot Your Thinking is a signature coaching program that I develop. This is a little taste of what that is. As we develop the mindset, skillset, and action, we must reboot how we think.

REW Sallie | Real Estate Investments

A Quick Guide to REBOOT Your Thinking With MSG

M*S*G is Mindset, Skillset, and Get Off Your Asset. I love that. The URL to go to get this free eBook is BlissfulInvestor.com/reboot. Thank you for that. Are you ready for three rapid-fire questions, Sallie?

I am.

Give us one super tip on getting started investing in real estate.

Start small, and figure out what the market is before you get started.

What is one strategy for being successful as a real estate investor?

Continue to stay knowledgeable about what is going on. Understand the basics and things change, particularly in the area of Fair Housing, which can be very problematic for people.

What specifically are you referring to there?

For a lot of property managers, at least in this area, there are testers in the area, and they are being hit with claims of Fair Housing violations for various reasons. For example, it could be with screening for criminal background checks, service animals, emotional support animals or familial status. Those are the hot-button items that I’m seeing a lot of.

What is one daily practice you do, Sallie, that contributes to your personal success?

It is all around building resilience. I find ways to build resilience in those four areas, physical, emotional, mental, and social, every single day.

Ladies, thank you so much for joining Sallie and me for this portion of this show. If you are subscribed to EXTRA, stay tuned. We got more. We are going to be doing a Ring of Power Process so that you can be powerful in whatever you are doing in your day or business. Stay tuned for that. If you are not subscribed to EXTRA but would like to be, go to RealEstateInvestingForWomenExtra.com, and you can check it out there.

For those of you that are leaving Sallie and me now, thank you so much for joining us, and thank you for all that you are doing in your life and for continuing to stick with me. I love you, ladies. I’m looking forward to seeing you next time. Until then, remember goals without action are dreams. Get out there, take action and create the life your heart deeply desires. I will talk to you soon. Bye.


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From Stress to Bliss In Business And Life With Moneeka Sawyer

REW Moneeka Sawyer | Stress To Bliss


When you’re frustrated, you may notice something unexplainable happening in your body, which doesn’t feel good. How can you turn stress to bliss? Join your host Moneeka Sawyer as she dives deep into building authentic happiness, emotional intelligence, and self-discovery. She discusses how the power of being in a bliss mode affects your business and whole life. Nothing changes until you take action and you determine your life with the choices that you make. So why not choose to be happy? Tune in to learn valuable insights about managing our emotions and embracing the joys life has to offer.

Watch the episode here


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From Stress to Bliss In Business And Life With Moneeka Sawyer

Real Estate Investing for Women

In this episode, I have something a little bit different for you that I wanted to share. Originally, my flagship book was called, Choose Bliss. For a long time, I talked a lot about that. I traveled around the country and whatever, and then I moved into Blissful Investor. I started this show and all of that stuff. During this time that I’ve been so focused on Blissful Investor, I haven’t been asked to talk about Choose Bliss very often. I’ve been on television a couple of times. During the pandemic, I was on television, talking about Choose Bliss. When you’re on TV, it’s like a 3, 5, 7 or 10-minute spot. It’s a short period of time. They’re usually asking questions.

I was asked to do a 30-minute talk on Choose Bliss. I have to confess I was a little bit wary because I haven’t been talking about it for a long time. To be honest, I personally have changed quite a bit since I wrote that book. That book was the beginning for me. It felt channeled. There’s so much about it that I learned as I read it because I don’t remember everything. I’m still me, but the book inspires me often. I have evolved and changed. When I got asked to talk about it, I thought, “I just can’t pull up one of my old talks that I used to do. I needed to create something different.” I did that. I did my first talk about Choose Bliss since the pandemic. It was so much fun.

I did something completely different. It’s very interactive. I had so much fun presenting it. It was delightful for me. I thought that you ladies might appreciate it. I’m hoping that you will benefit from it. I would love to hear your feedback on it because it’s the new format that I’m looking at doing for my Choose Bliss talks. If any of you have any advice, I’m always open. If you feel that it’s valuable, I would love to hear that too. I wanted to share that with you. I hope you enjoy this. I also hope you have an amazing week. I’ll see you soon. Thanks.

Moneeka Sawyer has often been described as one of the most joyful people you will ever meet. I can attest to that. For over a decade, she has been helping successful professionals, executives and entrepreneurs ease anxiety, overwhelm and stress so that they can experience more joy, ease and success in all areas of their lives. She is the author of the international best-selling book, Choose Bliss: The Power and Practice of Joy and Contentment, which is honored by the prestigious Quill Award for best literary work from the governor of the state of Maryland and several other awards.

Moneeka is known as the blissful millionaire. She is a TEDx speaker. She hosts the highly acclaimed podcast and nationally syndicated radio show, Real Estate Investing for Women. She has been featured on stages with Suzanne Somers, Martha Stewart, Ice-T and Coco, and places like NASDAQ, Harvard, Carnegie Hall, and on TV, NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox reaching over 150 million people.

She was also interviewed by my hero, Hal Elrod of The Miracle Morning community on his podcast. That was huge because I’ve never met anybody who’s been on his show. With that, I want to introduce you all officially to Moneeka. Moneeka, it’s a pleasure to have you here. We look forward to learning from you and smiling by the end of the day.

Thank you so much for inviting me here, Anastasia. I’m honored to be spending this time with everybody. I was here a couple of weeks ago, and Anastasia mentioned what it is that I took from Hal Elrod’s show. It warms my heart when people integrate what I talk about. Sometimes as a speaker, you’re talking out of the ether. Many of you are speakers so you know. You don’t know what happens. Thank you, Anastasia. I’ve been smiling ever since because of that.

It’s nice to meet everybody. What a wonderful conversation. I love that everybody does introductions. I get to know all of you. Before we start, I would like all of us to ground for a minute. Would you guys join me, please? Let’s take a couple of deep breaths in and push that breath down to the ground so we can all be present. Let’s do that together.

Thank you for joining me in that. I like to start every day with a little bit of grounding so I can be aware of my bliss. We’re going to be talking about bliss. I want to start with this. Did you know that your mind in bliss mode, which is different from neutral mode, stress mode or negative mode, gives you a huge advantage in life and business? Many of you understand about mindset. I’m sure that you’re aware of that, but I’m not just talking about the positive mode. I’m talking about bliss mode.

Definition Of Bliss

REW Moneeka Sawyer | Stress To Bliss

Choose Bliss: The Power and Practice of Joy and Contentment

Let me define what I mean by bliss. Bliss is a deep sense of joy and contentment, and the confidence that you can handle anything that comes your way. Bliss is about emotional mastery and emotional resilience. Why is this important? What does this have to do with our life or business? Warren Buffett says, “If you can’t control your emotions, you can’t control your money.” If bliss has to do with emotional mastery and emotional resilience, you can see how this relates to Warren Buffett’s world of business. I hope you can also see how it relates to everything else we do in life.

If you can control your emotions, and I like to say manage rather than control, if we can manage our emotions, we’re able to make better decisions that will support the joy in every area of our life, whether it’s our health, working out, what we eat, relationships, business or investing. We talked a little bit about real estate. All of those things are going to be affected by how we make decisions. If we make decisions based on the filters of bliss, we’re going to make decisions that are more supportive of the joy of our life. I hope that makes sense to everybody and that feels relevant.

I put together something special for this group. This is not my normal talk. When I visited before, I noticed how interactive all of you are and how much great wisdom is already here about mindset, bliss and joy. I wanted to have an experiential talk rather than just talking at you. I hope that’s okay. I hope you’ll join me and be fully engaged as we move into this experience of bliss. This is going to be funny because we’re going to start with the unblissful piece. I promise I will pull you out of that fast, and you will end the day feeling blissful.


What I would like to do is for all of us to think about something that makes us unhappy, something that causes frustration, and might cause a reaction in you in a normal circumstance. Maybe it’s getting cut off at work. Maybe it’s thinking about the school system. Maybe it’s watching the news. For me, one of the examples that I like to give is if I wake up in the morning and my website has been hacked again. I don’t know why this happens so much to me. You can imagine that something like this will send my head into a complete tailspin.

I want you to have this experience in the same way. At that moment, what can happen to me is my head would go into a tailspin and then the story started. My monkey brain goes crazy. I’m like, “Again? I can’t believe this is happening. I hate tech. It never supports me. What am I going to do?” My mind goes on and on. Eventually, I worked myself up into tears, call my webmaster, and then he takes care of it. Still, I’m in this state of frustration, which is hard for me now to focus on the other things in life that I would like to be doing. It takes me time to come back to my bliss state.

That’s the thing that I’m looking for. I would like you guys to think of something like that, that sends you or could possibly send you into that feeling of frustration. Think about it. I want you to feel it. I promise we’ll get you out of there, but I want you to feel into it. As you’re doing that, I also want you to notice what happens to your body. We’re going to talk about this in a second, but I’m going to stop talking for a minute so you can get into that mode.

Bliss is a deep sense of joy, contentment, and the confidence that you can handle anything that comes your way. Share on X

Are we all there? It’s interesting from my perspective to watch what happened with all of you. Everybody was smiling. We were all happy. Now everybody is like this. Notice what happens to our bodies. When I get frustrated, you saw what happened. My hands went to my head. My head is down. I’m all scrunched over. My shoulders are forward. My lower back hurts. There’s physiology also that happens when we’re feeling that level of frustration.

More About Bliss

Now let’s switch gears and we’ll talk about bliss. What I want you to think about now is something that makes you feel happy and good. This is going to be a bliss trigger for you. For me, I’m lucky that I have a bliss trigger that happens every single morning. I get my little puppy out of his crate. He’s all wiggly, waggy and adorable, and wants to be cuddled. We get to cuddle in the morning. One of the things that I reminded myself of way better than meditation, although I do meditate, to put me in a specific bliss mood at the moment is cuddling with him, feeling the joy, and breathing into that joy so I can take that joy with me into my day.

What I would like you to do is take a minute. This one, I want you to feel into it because I want to pull you out of that yucky feeling you just had. Think of something that makes you feel good. This is going to be a bliss trigger for you. It’s something that feels yummy, that makes you feel happy and smile. I want you to write down a couple of trigger words for that. For me, it would be, “Morning with my puppy.” That way, you know you can go back to it. I’m going to be quiet for a moment and let you guys think of that and then write down some trigger words.

I’m watching people’s faces change, but I’m noticing a couple of faces haven’t changed yet. Are we all there? Give me a nod if you’re feeling. Susan, thank you so much for that comment. We’ll get back to that later. How are you guys feeling? When you think of something that brings you joy, it happens emotionally. You can’t help it. Our minds affect our bodies and our bodies affect our minds. You’re feeling joy.

I want you to take a look at your bodies and what’s happening there. For me, when I think about my puppy, notice that I’m sitting up straight. My shoulders are back. I’m smiling, eyes forward, and so much more engaged with the group. My head isn’t down like this. There’s a complete physiological change that happens. When you’re in this bliss mode, now you can look at things from a different filter.

What I want you to do is now to think back to that yucky situation we introduced earlier. Think about that and notice what happened to you. Did you slump over? Did you have the same reaction that you had before, or is it different? Do you feel differently about it? Would you react differently to it? For instance, in my computer hacking situation, let’s say I had this lovely moment with my puppy in the morning. I’m feeling all blissful. I go to my computer and I noticed that my computer has been hacked.

REW Moneeka Sawyer | Stress To Bliss

Stress To Bliss: Your mind in bliss mode gives you a huge advantage in life and business.


In this situation, I would probably take a couple of deep breaths as I did with you earlier. I feel my frustration. I would then immediately call my webmaster and have him handle it. Now it’s off my plate. It’s out of my day. It only caused a little bit of frustration and I’m back to work without much interruption. Can you see that in bliss mode, I’m much more productive, I’m much more joyful, and I’m making better decisions? Does that make sense? Did anybody else have the same experience? I would love to hear some feedback from you guys, maybe 1 or 2 people. Yeah, thank you, Susan.

I start my day quite early with exercise classes from Sloan Kettering on Zoom. When Zoom throws me out or freezes, it does set my head spinning. It’s my fault, but that does change my mode.

Susan, did you feel a difference when you thought about that first and then we went into bliss mode and then you thought about it later? What was the difference between those two ways of looking at the same situation?

When I thought about what makes me smile every morning, I smiled.

How did you react to the Zoom dropping you off?

Let’s not have it happen with you. I won’t know for a minute. Those things happen intermittently. They happen and it’s how we perceive them.

When you're in the bliss mode, you can look at things from a different filter. Share on X

We can create filters on how we perceive them. If you’re going to put on filters, you might as well put on filters that support your joy, don’t you think?

That’s a good line.

Choose Bliss

Here’s another line that I love. This is not mine. A friend of mine gave it to me. I’m going to read it so I get it exactly right. “Your mind on bliss always finds better solutions to anything that comes up than a mind without it.” You guys have had this experience. I hope that demonstrated my perspective on what bliss is. This is why I called my book, Choose Bliss, because living a blissful life is a choice. What filters you see the world through is your choice. You’ve experienced this right now. You could choose to go into it in your normal reactionary mode, which is how most of us live, or you can choose to prime yourself with bliss and then go into your world in that way.

Bliss Tool And Moments

The next thing is that you can use your physiology for bliss. I’ve given you one tool. It is to create a bliss trigger. That’s the first tool that I’ve given you. I like to make sure that you guys have things to take away as Anastasia did from one of my other conversations. You’ve got a bliss tool. I want to make sure that you hold onto that. You’ve got some trigger words. What I would like you to do is think right now of a couple of other bliss moments that you can utilize.

This is why I want you to do this, we’ve all been in business for a long time. We’ve all lived full lives. We all know that when stress happens, no matter how much training we’ve had, stress takes over frequently. A challenge can take over. In those moments, it’s hard to be like, “I should be thinking blissfully. This is what I’m going to do.” Instead, you’re starting to have that reaction. If you’ve got scripts already prepared and memorized, you can immediately replace the monkey brain that’s happening for you with a new script that will give you joy. That’s why I like people to have prepared in their mind moments that they can now turn to and decide to live to change the filters at that moment.

What I would like you to do is take a minute and think about a couple more. We got one. I want to give you three because one isn’t always going to do it. I would like you to have three. Think about two more moments that would give you great joy. Write down some trigger words. I’m going to be quiet, so you go ahead and do that.

REW Moneeka Sawyer | Stress To Bliss

Stress To Bliss: Notice what happens to your body when you’re in bliss mode or dealing with frustration.


Let me know when you guys feel like you’ve got a couple that you can utilize and you’ve written around some trigger words. Go ahead and nod. I’m hoping that all of you have those. I would like you to leave this presentation with some tools in your bliss tool belt. I hope you got that so you can utilize them. Even if you don’t, you got time. This is a practice that you want to do for the rest of your life. This is one other thing that I want to say about living a blissful life, it’s not necessarily easy. It’s a habit that we create.

Anastasia mentioned something about when I walk into a room, people see me as the most joyful person in the world or whatever it is. The reality is I have bad days too. Being blissful does not mean that you do not have the full range of emotions. You can go from depression to ecstasy. We all have emotions. Those emotions are our right. They teach us. We have lessons. They tell us what’s going right and what’s going wrong. They tell us what to aspire for. Our emotions are a good thing.

A blissful person doesn’t live in the range of emotions. They experience them and then they come back to the core state of bliss that they can call home. Living in that place is a habit. It’s a habit of creating the right filters. It’s a habit of training our minds. If you want that and you want to be able to do it consistently, you have to practice. You need some of these tools. You need to practice again and again. It’s not necessarily easy and it takes time. It’s like brushing your teeth. You don’t get to do it once and then have it be over. Your teeth will all fall out.

You want to make sure that you’re doing this every single day to support yourself. It’s an effort, but it’s worth it. If you make those habits or if you create that in your life and you make those filters, now you get to live a blissful life most of the time. You also make better decisions in your life. You also are more productive like we talked about. There are many more advantages to living a blissful life. It gives you that advantage in life.

Now that I’ve given you one tool, let me give you my second favorite tool. That is to pay attention to your physiology. You already have this experience of walking through what a difference it makes when you’re sad, upset, angry or frustrated. What happens to your body? For most of us, our shoulders will fall forward. We contract. It will show up in different ways in our bodies. When you’re in bliss mode, you expand. This doesn’t look natural, but we do expand.

That physiology is an indicator, first of all, of whether we’re feeling blissful or not. It can also be a leading indicator. Maybe we wake up on the wrong side of the bed or maybe something is starting to happen in your day and you’re starting to collapse, just do the things that you would naturally do. It’s different for everybody. You had this experience before, so you’re aware of what your body does. What does your body do when you’re blissful? Now, position your body in that way. For me, I’ll pull my shoulders back. I’ll start to breathe more deeply. When I’m upset, I breathe much more shallowly. Breathe more deeply. I’ll put a smile on my face. I’m not faking the smile. If you put it on your face, maybe it will become real. It is an indicator for me if I’m feeling good or not. It is whether I’m smiling or not.

When your mind is with bliss, you always find better solutions to anything that comes up than a mind without it. Share on X


I’m not going to go on this tangent, but there is scientific evidence that when you smile, all these muscles in your face react. There’s a release of endorphins. Smiling is scientifically good. It makes you happy. Even physiologically, the act of smiling tells your body, “I’m happy. I’m feeling good.” With that physiological response, we can create a posture of bliss to then create the mood of bliss. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand that you have absolute control over your bliss. We can do it with our minds by using the bliss triggers. We can do it with our bodies. In both cases, when you get into a moment that’s feeling unblissful, all you have to do is a little tweak and suddenly your mood alters.

It’s a little bit like magic. The more you do it, the more you get to experience that blissful life that will support everything that you want to do, your productivity, good decisions, good relationships, good business, and good investing. It affects everything. Was that valuable? Did you guys feel like those are some yummy tools that you can use in your toolbox? That’s bliss for a lot of people, I have to confess.

Ashley, you guys have so much wisdom in this room. I’m going to want to hear more about your bliss practices when we get into the Q&A. Keep those in mind because I would love for you to share those. Susan shared about laughter in the morning, and then about bacon. We’re going to talk about that. We need to wrap up, unfortunately, because I don’t have a huge amount of time.

There are two more practices that I want to share with you. One is in the form of a gift and one I will give to you because it’s quick. The golden ticket or the master key to bliss is gratitude. It turns out that your bliss is directly related to your gratitude and how much time you spend in gratitude. This topic is important that I wrote a full chapter of it in my book, Choose Bliss. It’s a deep concept. It’s not just, “Thank you,” although that is good. That’s a great place to start, but there are ways to do it that will enhance your bliss.

The interesting thing about gratitude is you can do it wrong. Some people will do gratitude practices where they’re avoiding lack. They say it in a way that makes them scared to lose it, whatever it is that they’re grateful for. You don’t want to be doing a gratitude practice that causes fear. In my chapter, I talk about the right way to do a gratitude practice. Since I don’t have the time to go over it right now, I would like to give that to you as a gift.

It’s CoreBlissLife.com/survey. I have a little appreciation form for you guys to give me feedback on. If you don’t want to fill these forms out, don’t worry about it. You can go down to the bottom and say, “Yes, I want you to gift,” and give me your email address. That’ll be fine. If you do feel like giving me feedback, I would be honored to hear your thoughts. I respect all of you in this room and would love to hear from you. If you would rather not do that, go to the form, get your free gift, put in the email address, and then use the next couple of minutes while people are filling out the form to write down some practices that you personally do to achieve bliss in your life, or maybe write down some things that you’re going to use from this presentation going forward in your life.

REW Moneeka Sawyer | Stress To Bliss

Stress To Bliss: In bliss mode, you tend to be more productive, joyful, and making better decisions.


Extra Credit Strategy

Thank you to those of you who filled out the form. For those of you that want the chapter, I will get that out to you as soon as I can. As I promised, you got an extra credit strategy that I want to give you before we open up the floor for Q&A and your comments. Here’s my extra credit strategy. It is called Stop, Drop and Breathe. This is my favorite one because it’s quick and easy. You can do it anywhere, anytime with anyone. It’s super effective.

This is how this works. Imagine that you’re in that yucky moment. For me, it was my computer getting hacked. I start to notice the monkey mind is going. Understand that a situation does not cause a reaction. The story in your head about the situation causes the reaction. What you want to do is that you catch, “There’s this story starting to happen in my mind. I’m starting to slump. I’m starting to have a reaction.” First, you stop. For me, quite literally from my office, I will say, “Moneeka, stop.” If I’m in a grocery store or in public, I might snap. I have some triggers to stop the monkey mind.

Take your mind and drop it down into your heart. Literally remove it and take it into your heart. That’s the drop. Now take three deep breaths in through your nose. Have that breath go all the way down so it’s tickling the back of your belly button and then breathe out through your mouth. That’s an energizing breath. You want to do three of those or as many as you can do. If you could only do one, you do one.

Notice my voice has dropped. My frustration has gone. Now you’re in a place to be able to respond again from a filter of bliss. Use this all the time. This is my favorite strategy because I use it the most. You can use it in a second. You don’t need to engage your brain. You just engage your body, which is significantly easier.

This one is a little bit of a challenge in the beginning because a lot of people can’t get the breath. We can’t stop the brain or the monkey mind. We can’t get the breath. Don’t give up on it if it doesn’t work the first time. If you practice it 6 or 7 times, you’ll start to notice, “That’s easier.” All these bliss practices take a little bit of practice, but they’re totally worth it. This one is the easiest one to get access to immediately. It has been an honor to chat with you and to spend time with you.

I hope that the experiences and the tools that I gave you were valuable and will help you to live a more blissful life. I know there’s a lot of wisdom in this room. I would like to hear from you. What is it that you do to create bliss in your life? What is it that you loved that you think you will take forward into your life starting right after this meeting to create more bliss in your life? Would anybody like to share? If you have questions for me, please feel free to ask. Anastasia go ahead.

Living a blissful life really is a choice. What filters you see the world through really is your choice. Share on X

First off, I want to go back to that exercise that you had because I’m fully aware of the whole body posture. I’ve tested it on myself, just something and how I feel right now versus being up and aware. It changes how I feel. This idea of having a positive trigger or a bliss trigger that I can go to not only get me out of the space that I’m in. In my case, I was thinking of wildfires. I was upset over what was happening in Arizona because I have friends there. Bringing back all the stuff that happened to the Bay Area and our families brought me down.

The things I was thinking about were my grandchildren, being with my family, my 60th birthday, the tea and the croquet, all this stuff. I could envision myself, my family, and my granddaughters at that party and how much joy that brought me and bliss. To go back to the wildfires, I did find in my body the differences. When I was thinking about the frustration, sadness, anger and fear, my chest tightens, then we go to happiness and I’m feeling more free. I can breathe better. When you had us come back, my chest didn’t tighten as much. I could feel the sadness again over the wildfires, but it didn’t physically affect me as much as it had after I had been in that state of bliss.

I feel like prophylactically, I should be thinking about these on a regular basis as protection. It’s like a Pepto-Bismol coating on my stomach. If I drink it every day, it’s going to help make it easier for me to not go into that space. That was an interesting experiment for you to have us do. I appreciate that. I want to bring back this thing that you talked about on Hal Elrod’s show that I use all the time. That is similar to your stop, drop and breathe, but to stop and call myself out with, “Anastasia, are these thoughts serving you?” I don’t know about everybody else, but my monkey brain goes down in different directions.

How many of us have had a negative dialogue with somebody? An argument with someone that you are imagining in your head that hasn’t even happened, may not ever happen, but I’ll even go through various iterations of it. It didn’t quite turn out the way I want it so then I’ll change my argument with this person to another argument, and then another argument. The next thing I know, I’m spinning myself and then I have to stop, “This hasn’t even happened.”

I’m all upset, usually in the shower, too. I’m angry at this person. I’m angry at my inability to get them to see things from my viewpoint. What I realized is it is so far from reality. I have to stop myself. I literally would say, “Anastasia, are these thoughts serving you?” It brings me dead in my tracks. I have no choice but to shift. I usually laugh at how ridiculous I am. Sometimes it’s harder to get out of that, but I will say that it serves me. In fact, I’ve got a new monitor now, but I got to do this again. I had a label right at the top of my monitor that said, “Anastasia, are these thoughts serving you?” It is a visual reminder to stop myself.

Viktor Frankl, if there’s one person that I can most understand what he’s talking about when we have a choice, that man has shared with us about choice. It is powerful. I reflect back and I imagine myself in a concentration camp in his situation having a choice as to how I feel. They can take everything away from you, but they cannot take away your choice for how you feel. Your statement that reminds me to stop and are these thoughts serving me brings me back to choice. I want to thank you for that.

REW Moneeka Sawyer | Stress To Bliss

Stress To Bliss: When you get into a moment of frustration, all you have to do is a little tweak and suddenly your mood alters. It’s a little bit like magic. And the more you do it, the more you get to experience that blissful life that will support everything that you want to do.


Thank you. Anatasia made a good point in that our bliss triggers can be primers for your day. They can also be the cure for your fall from bliss. You can use them on the front end and at the back end. I recommend that you do because you always want to start your day blissed out. Your brain is in bliss. You can also use it as a cure later. Thank you for saying that. I meant to say that in my presentation. I’m glad that you caught that, Anastasia.

The other thing that I want to say is that people think that life has to be complicated and if it’s not complicated, it’s not good. If a strategy isn’t complicated, it’s not good enough for me. It’s not scientifically proven, Whatever it is, I like simple strategies because it’s the simple strategies that you can implement immediately in a moment that can change everything. I love the one that you mentioned. I love these simple strategies.

One other thing that I wanted to mention is we just got out of a pandemic and we were dealing with the war in Ukraine. There are all sorts of stuff that we hear about in the news. Those things cause stress in our bodies and our minds. How much stress is going to be determined by us? We can’t change the school system by ourselves. We can’t change what’s going on in politics. We can’t change what’s happening outside of us, but we always have control of what’s going on inside of us so just remember that. I love what you said about choice, Anastasia. They can take everything, but they can’t take your choice. Thank you so much for that. Does anybody else want to give us something that they use to create bliss in their life? Susan, and then we’ll go to Craig.

I don’t know if any of you remember the photographer Anne Geddes who did the baby pictures and she put the babies in the flowers. For all of you who have grandchildren, I love seeing baby pictures. Whatever is happening, if I have a friend who sends me a video of his grandson or granddaughter, I stop and watch it. If they don’t send me, I’ll send them notes going, “I haven’t seen a picture. That’s cruel of you.” It’s Anne Gedddes’s idea of pictures of these babies smiling. I don’t care about pets. Don’t send me anything with the pet, but the little infants doing wonderful things.

I would jump on what Anastasia said. I do the same thing. I have these great conversations in my head. I was told there’s a psychological term for it. It’s called catastrophizing. One friend, when she asked me why I didn’t write fiction, I said, “I don’t have that great imagination.” She said, “Are you kidding? That story you told me, you have more imagination than anyone I know.”

We make things up, but also nature. As I am sitting here, I look out across the mountains. I see trees. That’s why I don’t spend a lot of time in my formal office. Bliss is something that is a choice. Certainly, Viktor Frankl and many survivors of many horrible things have said that they make choices. They also make some other kinds of payments. I thank you for this because it’s a good reminder that if I know I need to start my day with humor, not to shortchange myself on seeing things that live. Thank you.

People can take everything, but they can't take your choice. Share on X

I love that, Susan. Thank you. Craig, and then Christine.

I was going to say something about choice. Similar to Anastasia, I finished reading Viktor Frankl’s book. It’s all about the choices we make. It’s always good to have a bag of tricks. What am I grateful for? If feel a little anxious or something, I feel what I’m grateful for. It’s important to have a daily trigger. A great example of this is seeing Randal Reeder in his truck with his farm hat and his shirt. That gives me great joy. I’m going to retain this image for the rest of my day. Thank you, Randal. Also, the posture thing. Our wellness and hope expert has so much to say about that. If all else fails, in my kitchen, I have a red box with a glass cover on it and a piece of bacon in there. It says, “If all else fails, go for it.” That’s all I have for you.

That was awesome, Craig. Thank you. Christine, what would you like to share?

Everyone is mentioning Viktor Frankl. He was one of my professors in a couple of classes. I had a unique experience when I was en route to my Master’s and Doctorate in Psychology. It’s an inspiration. I’ve had some amazing professors. He was one of them. I appreciate your learning from what he has written as well, but being there in person with him was truly a learning experience as well. You being here in person is also a very special experience. It also makes me fall to mind things that have made my life special. Music has certainly been one of them. I’ve learned and performed music all over the world in many languages, not always or not typically in my case. At one time, it was for money when I was a student. A lot of times, it’s sharing.

I found that music in people’s lives and hearts can be a trigger to good memories and positive things, not so much as performance, but if shared back with them with the correct pronunciation of their languages and things they learned as children, things that are not children’s or baby songs, but messages and things that mattered to them. That has been one of the things that I’ve been able to get back, and it goes back and forth, to watch the joy and the specialness of things that were music to people, to learn in a positive context if shared back with them in a way that is respectful of the languages and the cultures, not destroying them by not properly saying them or understanding what the message is. That has been one of the things I have found that has been effective to interchange and reciprocate.

Christine, thank you for that. You bring to mind this idea of the givers high and being of service. Even in enjoying music, the way you talked about it was in service to the audience that’s hearing it, not mutilating their language. Service is another one of the chapters of my book. It’s a huge pillar of bliss because when we get out of ourselves and we’re taking into account somebody else, we now have something so much bigger than ourselves to be paying attention to and being of service to others in all different ways, whether it’s speaking their language correctly, whether it’s smiling at them, holding a door for them, or contributing financially or with our time. Those things all give us a server’s high.

REW Moneeka Sawyer | Stress To Bliss

Stress To Bliss: Simple strategies that you can implement immediately in a moment can change everything.


I could talk about that for 2,000 years. I love that. There are so many things that prove that we can go and do things in service. Music has been clinically proven to improve people’s moods. It can be a trigger and an anchor as it is a sound. Adding in that, Christine, this attitude of service was beautiful. I’ve never quite heard it that way. Thank you.

One additional thing that I have found. I was a parent. I can repeat things correctly, but it’s the context also, the message of people’s music, the special things that they started out with. Something special and it’s respectful and it’s something that they appreciate.

Thank you. Does anybody else have anything they would like to add or any questions they got?

I want to go off of Susan’s thing about babies. The one thing that no matter where you’re at or whatever, baby giggles and babies laughing bring a smile to my face. It’s pure joy.

I love that, Tony. At night, I have my Instagram account up on my phone. My husband laughs at me. Everything on Instagram for me is about animals. I love elephants. I love the majesty of lions, and I love ducks. I scroll and I see all these reels about all these animals. It sends me off into this blissful sleep. You’re not supposed to have screen time before you go to sleep. For me, this works to send me into my sleep smiling. I wake up much more naturally on the right side of the bed. I’m much happier when I wake up usually if I do that. I love that. It’s children’s giggles for you. For me, it’s animals. I hope you guys found this talk valuable and that you enjoyed it.

It was excellent. Thank you for joining us, Moneeka and for your talk.


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Be The Queen Of Your Own Life With Harriet Morris – Real Estate Women

REW 73 | Be The Queen


Are you a princess or do you want to be the queen? Do you crave outside affirmation, or are you confident in what you are and what you can do? In this episode, Moneeka Sawyer sits down for a talk with eating psychologist and body confidence coach Harriet Morris. Harriet discusses the different archetypes people fill, and zeroes in on two: The princess and the queen. We learn the differences between both and why we need to unleash the queen inside. Tune in and learn more on becoming the queen you were meant to be.

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Be The Queen Of Your Own Life With Harriet Morris – Real Estate Women

Real Estate Investing For Women

I am excited to welcome you to the show, Harriet Morris. She is a coach and host of two podcasts, The Rebel Queen Empath and The Eating Coach. She’s almost a total failure as an employee and a miserable binge eater until the age of 40. It was at this age that she discovered her secret superpower. This is the ability to turn failure and self-sabotage on their heads through curiosity and experimentation. She has used her superpower to reclaim her life from compulsive eating, doubled her income in a year, and get over 200,000 podcast downloads. That’s impressive because if you know anything about podcasting, 20,000 in five years is fairly standard. Two hundred thousand downloads are amazing. She appears on shows like Entrepreneurs on Fire, which I have been on also. Her mission is to help women in midlife step into the role of queen, which means owning their power, dismantling their fear of success, and embracing their own imperfections. Ladies, you can tell why I wanted her on the show. Hello, Harriet. Welcome to the show.

Instead of waiting for life to present an opportunity to you, life's going to say, “Well, no, you've got to do some work first.” Share on X

Moneeka, thank you so much for having me.

Harriet, tell us a little bit about your story. The two-minute high-level version.

In my first career in teaching, I was no good. It was pretty bad. It was an adventure failure. Many people come on podcasts and they go, “I was a corporate bigwig,” and then I changed a bit, “No, I was a complete failure.” I then had kids and decided that I wouldn’t do teaching anymore so I did a variety of online adventures. When I turned 40, everything changed for me. I realized that I wasn’t going to live forever. I wanted to be free of the compulsive eating that I’d have for years and years. I released myself from compulsion by experiments.

There’s this one time I remember, and it was from giving up sugar. I’d given up sugar for about six weeks. I had done it through experimentation when no other gurus could help me. What happened was, I was standing in the supermarket and I was right in front of all the chocolate. I thought, “I’ve had enough of all this that I’ve done.” That food rebel was back and I’m going to have the junk. My hand reached that and said, “Which bar shall I have?” As that happened, the most bizarre thing took place, which was my feet turned to walk in the other direction.

REW 73 | Be The Queen

Be The Queen: The difference between the princess and the queen is that the princess is full of self-doubt, and she wants affirmation from the outside. The queen sits on the throne. She doesn’t need that outside affirmation.


We’re generally attached to our feet. I was like, “What was going on?” What was going on, in a nutshell, was that I had trained my subconscious over six weeks through experimentation to take a different action when I got a craving. It was a distraction action. Even though that day, I said, “I’m not doing any of these distractions,” my subconscious noted that I was stopping and it decided that we were going to walk away anyway.

I was annoyed because I wanted the junk. At the same time, I was like, “Wow.” From then, a couple of years later, I started coaching people with binge eating. It all went from there and I started my podcast. It was all these things that I was scared to do. I had no self-belief when I gave up all the junk. I had no self-belief when I started coaching and podcasting. I did everything as an experiment. That is the message I want to give people. You do not need to have belief in yourself. You just need to be curious.

I love that story about how it’s like a magic wand. Your feet had a life of their own right. Ladies, I know that normally, I don’t have people that talk about eating on the show. Part of what engaged me with Harriet was, first of all, she’s delightful so I wanted to share her with you, ladies. I say this on the show all the time, how we do anything is how we do everything. If we have compulsive behaviors, they are going to show up in different ways. Sometimes it can be a good thing.

My husband is compulsive and how that shows up is he gives me a lot of attention. He’s compulsive about me. There are good things about compulsions but a lot of times it shows up in a bad way. For instance, a compulsion to be lazy, procrastinate and self-sabotage. There are a lot of things that we do compulsively that show up in a bad way. If we have tools to adjust our compulsions, even if we’re talking about an eating disorder, now I can use them in making telephone calls, talking to my clients and tenants. It’s all of these things that we do in our lives. Now we’ve got a tool to adjust all that.

It's good to do affirmations and to work on your beliefs, but it has to happen along with action. Share on X

I also am always on a diet. My metabolism doesn’t cooperate as much as I would like to sometimes. My initial attraction to Harriet was I want to figure out how to have the magic wand to make my feet move the other way. What I realized was through getting to know her more is that this is relevant to real estate too. Ladies, you’re going to get two birds with one stone when we’re talking to Harriet. Thank you so much, Harriet. I’m excited. Let’s start by talking about the queen identity.

This is an interesting thing that’s not talked about very much. When I was doing my eating psychology training, we were told about this and you can imagine that the majority of people doing an Eating Psychology Coaching Certificate are women and a lot of women in their 40s. We all fell off our chairs with, “That’s me.” It’s originated by Carl Jung and he talks about archetypes. Does that mean anything to you?

It does.

If somebody hasn’t heard of it and they’re scratching their heads a bit, this is a big subject. For the purposes of our discussion, you can think of an archetype as a role you play. In any one day, you can play a number of roles slot into those archetypes. You can be the mother, the jester or the trickster. It’s quite interesting, but what Jung said was that there are some archetypes that are age-appropriate. He says that they are different for men and women.

For a woman between the ages of 0 and about 30, she is in the princess archetype. When I’ve said this to clients, some of them say, “I don’t like that word,” because they think it’s Disney. If you don’t like the word princess, you could choose a different word but this is what he used. The princess archetype is something like this, “I am not sure of myself. Do people accept me? I need affirmation from the outside.”

It doesn’t necessarily mean weakness. For example, if you took something like Katniss from The Hunger Games, she’s in that princess age and there are lots of brave things about her. She’s not a shrinking violet but she’s got lots of self-doubts and she doesn’t know if she can trust people. It takes her a while to inhabit this role of the revolutionary leader. You’ve got that from 0 to 30.

What should happen in an ideal world? As we all know, we don’t live in an ideal world. At the age of 30, a woman should start to transition to the queen identity and it’s a long transition. By the time that we’re 50, we should have got that out. By the time a woman is 40, as we told in my training, “Be on the queen program.” The difference between the princess and the queen is the princess is full of stuff that she wants affirmation from the outside.

The queen is sitting on a throne. She doesn’t need that outside affirmation. She’s sitting there and people come to her, and she knows who she is. What’s happened in our culture is that traditionally, women have been told to try and be younger, “Get the anti-aging cream on,” and to try and be like a princess. It’s interesting because a lot of the women have come to me with eating issues. I say to them, “You’re binge eating. It’s a bit like this beautiful alarm call saying, ‘Stop trying to do this,’” because they’re trying to diet to be less. It’s very princess when life actually wants them to sit on their throne and be the queen, and accept themselves more.

If they’ve got weight to lose or get fit, they can do that in an empowered way. Anyway, that’s a side point because I know this is not the point in this interview. Once I saw this, I was like, “I learned this in my early 40s. I can’t wait now I’m on the queen program.” It’s all about reframing things. Let’s say you have a negotiation issue that comes up with rent or something like this, instead of maybe thinking, “I must be collaborative,” because girls are brought up to please people and to be collaborative. I know these are massive generalizations but it’s about saying, “I’m on the queen program. How can I be more regal about it?” Does that make sense?

It does. It’s interesting because the capacity for collaboration is one of the female superpowers that men are not as gifted with. As we take it from the princess area where it’s collaboration for affirmation, we move it to collaboration to create empires. As a queen, now you’re collaborating with other queens and you’re creating empires and big things. You’re not looking for validation. You’re each bringing your own gift to the table like the Round Table of Queens. As all of us bring our superpowers, we now can create something much larger than ourselves. Collaboration still exists but this idea of being on the throne puts us in a different position.

REW 73 | Be The Queen

Be The Queen: There are certain actions you can take that starts to help you see yourself as an investor. It’s the actions we take that then give those beliefs legs.


This conversation is interesting because I have always called myself the princess. I always say, “I’m royalty without responsibility,” which is a goofiness about me. It wasn’t that I didn’t have self-confidence. I went through all of that but that was my thing. I never wanted to be queen, but now I definitely am the queen that sits on my throne. I’m more collaborative. I lift women up more. I have more power and I have a lot more self-respect. I’ve earned my own self-respect. It’s hard because you don’t know what’s happening. In my case, it wasn’t an intentional thing, but it’s been interesting to watch that transition and how the world has changed around me because of the paradigm shift that’s happened inside of my own head.

What does it do to the concept of middle age and getting older? It’s like, “Yes. That’s it.” I remember once when I was in a bar and I went into the bathroom. There was a girl there. She was so drunk and she was crying to her friend. She’s like, “He doesn’t want to see me anymore.” She was texting him. I remember I looked at her and I thought, “I’m so glad I’m not a princess.”

If he doesn’t want to see me anymore, his loss. Whatever.

Where’s the nearest throne?

Let’s talk about how actions change beliefs. I love this topic. I know that as a queen, we step into action before we believe our queen.

That’s exactly it. This is a concept that I created because I was tired. You can google inspirational quotes and you can see all these quotes of people saying, “You have to believe in yourself. Just believe in yourself and everything will follow.” When I was compulsive, all I knew was that I hated my life. I’m thinking of somebody who is starting out with investing and they may have a certain amount of money. You tell me if this happens, but somebody might say, “You need three times the amount to get going. Don’t bother.”

“You need three times the amount. Real estate is risky. You don’t know enough. Nobody else in the family has done real estate. Why do you think this is going to work for you?” There are all sorts of stuff like that.

I’m not recommending going and taking massive risks, but there are certain actions that you can take to start to help you see yourself as an investor. It’s the actions we take that then give those beliefs legs. It’s good to do affirmations and work on your beliefs but it has to happen along with the action. That’s how I’ve managed to do anything that I’ve done and help anybody that I have. It’s by diving in and doing it imperfectly as well.

There is this belief that if we have a particular mindset, things will be attracted to us. I even mentioned the way I changed and now the world is showing up differently. It’s is true but I didn’t just change my mind. I changed the way that I acted, the way that I was showing up, and what I was doing. Most of it was scary. I hope this doesn’t sound like bragging. It’s not that. It’s that I get it. This is hard and hopefully, to model what the possibilities are. You too, Harriet, are modeling what the possibilities are. Even if we have self-doubt, if we take focused action, we have the affirmations to boost up enough to take those actions and to support them. We’ve got our minds working in two ways to move us forward. That’s going to help us. A lot of people think that this whole attraction idea sounds like magic and it’s wonderful, but nothing happens until you take action. Action has to happen.

There’s a great quote from Steve Pavlina. He’s somebody that I follow. He’s a personal development blogger. He says that the best tools of the Law of Attraction are your hands and feet. I would also say your mouth when you’re negotiating, when you want to set something up, or when you want to ask for help. You can sit there and do affirmations until you’re blue in the face, but it’s going out and taking action. I don’t think in terms of the universe. I think in terms of life. I’m doing deals with life. It’s like, “If you want to start off investing, go out and do something,” because you’re saying to life, “I’m having a go.” Instead of waiting for life to present an opportunity to you, life is going to say, “You’ve got to do some work first.” I quite like that idea of making deals with life.

My dad used to always say, “God helps those who help themselves.” As long as I’m out there taking action, God will support me. I’ve always believed that and it is always proven to be true. He’s got to know what I’m doing, what I’m wanting, and what I’m willing to work for. The next topic you talk a lot about is this imperfect visibility. Let’s talk a little bit about that.

I started out with incredible body hatred and I worked on this. In 2019, I created something called the Body Confident Project. It was a project to see if I can help any woman, including myself, because I had my own body image issues and started accepting herself when she looked in the mirror. This is so important for women. It’s not just a beauty thing. It’s about how you’re showing up as the queen. I see so many women and they’re incredible and they’ll say something like, “I need to lose 5 pounds.” The queen shrinks to the princess. This happened and I and the clients I was working with could look in the mirror and go, “I look great.”

The funny thing is that in lockdown, everything changed because I couldn’t go to the gym. I’m thinking about the gym in the right way or in an empowered way as, “I want to be stronger rather than be less.” That was a big part of this imperfect visibility. Lockdown changed everything. I went ten steps back. On my podcast, The Eating Coach Podcast, I recorded an incredibly personal episode and it was like somebody who’s gay coming out. I would say, “I want to tell you that I’ve been compulsive during the lockdown. I’ve put weight on. I’m now dealing with this in my own empowered way without feeling about calories or anything like that.” That was to say that this is me and I’m imperfect. That is so incredibly powerful. It’s also powerful for us as role models.

One thing I hear time and time again is this longing from women in midlife to be better role models for the younger women, but they don’t know how to be. That’s one of my things. I want to help them step into that imperfect visibility so they can say, “No, I don’t eat like a supermodel.” How many people do you know who live in a mansion? Not all of us but nobody gets up and says, “I’m so angry. I don’t live in a mansion,” but they seem to do that with their bodies. That stops people from living their lives. I’ve gone on quite a lot. I get passionate about this topic.

Your discomfort can take you back and then you don't feel very good, or it can take you forward. And that's where your life can change. Share on X

I love your take on the idea of uncomfortability. Can you share with my ladies your take on that?

Uncomfortability is saying, “I am willing to be uncomfortable.” There are two kinds of discomfort and people don’t understand unless they’re already doing it. They go, “I do that,” or they experience it. For example, let’s take the first investment you want to make. You’ve done your due diligence. You’ve got the advice and it’s a risk that you can manage. You’re still, “I don’t know what to do.” You’ve got two choices. The key thing is accepting both of these choices include or will lead to discomfort. Discomfort number one is not doing this and staying where you are. That’s okay. It’s not as bad initially as the other discomfort but you don’t get anywhere. Nothing changes.

The other kind of discomfort is what I call this uncomfortability where I’m going to go in and do it. From that, you’ll learn something. Your knowledge will go further and you will learn to make better decisions. What’s interesting is that you manage your cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is, for example, somebody who smokes. They know that it’s bad for their health but they’re smoking. It’s having two contradictory truths in your head. What’s interesting is that the brain can’t stand it. Hardly anybody smokes anymore. I don’t know anyone who smokes now, but when people say, “I’ll give up next month,” or, “My granddad smokes and drinks whiskey. He lived to be 100.”

People will come up with this nonsense to kill this cognitive dissonance, but there’s something else you can do, which is much more interesting with cognitive dissonance. You can use it to move over to a new identity. With the first investment, for example, it’s like, “I want to be an investor but this is scary. What if it fails?” You’ve got these two truths. What you do then is what you would advise people to do. You would say, “Do the thing which makes you feel uncomfortable and align with the new identity. Accept that that cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable,” but it’s got a shelf life.

That’s the thing. It’s like me in the supermarket with my feet going the other way. I’ve reached this point where the discomfort has changed. That is where the shelf life was. That’s where it started to get much easier because when my feet turned and went the other direction, I thought, “I can do this now. I’m never going back. This is magic.” Your discomfort can take you back and you don’t feel good, or it can take you forward and that’s where your life can change.

I love how you talk about it having a shelf life because you’re only going to feel uncomfortable in that position for a short period of time. Eventually, your alignment will catch up and suddenly, this is the new normal. You see this when people get a brand-new car. You’ve always driven $20,000 cars, and now you got a $50,000 car. You’re like, “This is amazing.” You drive that car for two weeks and suddenly, you deserve a $50,000 car. This is your new normal. You’re not super elated about it because it’s now the new normal. We’ve grown into that new person with that new identity. This can happen in anything and whatever you’re doing in your business. We go into that person that we are being. I love that. I like your term of adversity proofing yourself. Could you expand on that?

It’s tied up with everything I’ve been talking about. It comes down to one question and I want to go back to talking about the queen. It’s not like everything is great. This is Carl Jung. He was quite clever about the human mind. It helps you deal with adversity and it’s the idea of instead of being a victim or, “Why is this happening to me? Why has the deal fallen through? Why has the market changed?” You say, “How am I going to manage this?” The key question which I love and it’s got me through some quite difficult times, is when I hate a situation, I can choose to be a victim but instead, I’m going to ask, “What would the queen do?”

Let me tell you a quick story. When I was learning about the queen, I was also doing a lot of audio relaxation and self-hypnosis. One day, I woke up and this image came to me. This was when I was going through my divorce. I saw myself as a shipwrecked queen and I was on an island. I’d been on a boat and it’s all gone apart. I wear the queenly robe and they were all tattered. I remember thinking, “I’m shipwrecked but I’m still the queen.” Nobody can take that title away from me in this visualization I was doing. If you think about all the resources that we’ve got, we can feel sorry for ourselves but anybody reading, you have an internet connection. You are educated enough to read this blog. You have so many more resources than you might think. That’s your queen power.

“What would the queen do?” I’m going to start asking myself that. That sounds great.

I watched the film Elizabeth. She had some horrible decisions to make but she had to be the queen.

Ladies, in EXTRA, we’re going to be talking about how to negotiate like a queen. I’m excited. Harriet brought it up a little bit during this part of the show. It’s about the way that you set boundaries, the way that you speak and view yourself in any given situation. We’re going to do a little bit of a deep dive on that. I can’t wait to hear a little bit more about the queen power. We’ll be doing that in EXTRA. Before we move into our three rapid-fire questions, could you tell everybody how they can reach you?

Be The Queen: Uncomfortability is saying, “I am willing to be uncomfortable.”


My email address is [email protected]. I’ve got a gift called the Queen Audit. The Queen Audit is seven questions you can ask yourself to help you pivot and move into that queen stage of life and give you clarity on some key things. For example, dismantling imposter syndrome. I would be excited to bring that to you because I don’t see anybody talking about this topic. It’s being transformative for my clients and myself.

Ladies, the URL for that free gift which is the Queen Audit Seven Powerful Questions to Help Any Woman Shift into Queen Identity is at BlissfulInvestor.com/harriet. As you’ve been reading, I know that for the ladies who are reading, the age range is 15 all the way up to 80. We’ve got a huge range, and the queen identity does not belong only to women over 30, 40 or 50. If you can sit on your throne significantly earlier in life, a new way of living happens for you, and then your queen can evolve. Don’t feel that if you’re a younger woman, this isn’t for you. As a matter of fact, I would encourage you to step into that queen as soon as possible because there’s no reason to doubt yourself. You’re this same person so start sooner.

If you think about somebody like Hermione from Harry Potter, she was a princess but she had definite queen elements to her personality, so you’re right.

Harriet, are you ready for three rapid-fire questions?


Give us one super tip on getting started investing in real estate.

Never tolerate the objection “I don’t know.” In this day and age, “I don’t know” won’t cut it. That is victim talk. If more than two people can do what you don’t know how to do, you can find out. This is the internet, so “I don’t know” is not going to cut it.

What was one strategy for being successful in investing in real estate?

I would say belonging. I’ve heard on your show where you talk about the certain clubs that you’re inviting people to. This is a great idea because you’re going to come across problems and maybe people who are trying to step on you in some way. If you’re part of a group, especially a part of the group who knows more than you, then that gives you a core inner strength. It’s something I call cave brain that I talk about an awful lot. The cave brain needs to be part of the group. If you’re beginning, you need to leverage other people’s greater experience.

Even if you’re not beginning, I still do. I’ve been doing this for many years. Having that community is a huge part of my success too and it will always be. This is the way that we work and how we expand. What is one daily practice that you would say contributes to your personal success?

You can choose to be a victim, but instead, you need to ask what would the queen do? Share on X

It’s quite boring. I was going to say meditation or something like that. That is good but it’s doing the most important thing first because you can go, “I want to do this, this and this.” In the morning, our brains are at their best. If you do the most important thing, you have this feeling of satisfaction and everything else falls into place.

This has been amazing. Thank you for all you’ve shared on this portion of this show.

Thank you. It’s been a delight to come on. I’m honored.

Ladies, we’ve got more. We’re going to be talking about negotiating like a queen, which I’m excited about. Stay tuned for EXTRA. If you are not yet subscribed to EXTRA but would like to be, this is going to be a fun episode. You might want to do it now. Go to RealEstateInvestingForWomenExtra.com. You get the first seven days for free so check it out and you can stay if you like. For those of you that are leaving us now, thank you so much for joining Harriet and me in this portion of the show. I appreciate you. I look forward to seeing you next time. Until then, remember, goals without action are just dreams. Get out there, take action and create the life your heart deeply desires. I’ll see you soon. Bye.


Important Links


About Harriet Morris

REW 73 | Be The QueenMy name is Harriet Morris. From the age of 12, when it suddenly hit me like a lightning bolt that I was fat (NB I wasn’t fat – in retrospect I can see I was just reacting badly to the normal changes of adolescence), I was always unhappy with my weight. I followed numerous diets, detoxes, fasting, punishing exercise regimes – you name it, I tried it. Some worked temporarily, but none had any lasting impact – except to embed the idea that I was a fat, willpower-free zone.

I was also a compulsive eater. I used to steal my kids’ Easter eggs and tell myself I was looking after their dental health. Even moderate stress became a regular trigger for trips to the deli (or should I say dealer) to get my fix of fat and sugar. I used to regularly wolf down half my daily calorie needs in less than a minute- all in shameful secret, of course. I was never able to fully concentrate on conversations at parties, or shows at the theatre – all because at the back of my mind and an insistent voice kept whispering “FOOD”. I thought about it constantly, except when I was eating…or should I say inhaling.

My curiosity and creativity have allowed me to come up with some powerful practical strategies to change my eating and exercise habits in ways that empower me, instead of making me want to rebel. In essence, I sat down and had peace talks with my food addiction – while tying its shoelaces together under the table! This has not always been easy – what big life change ever is? – but it has been easier and often far more enjoyable than the endless yo-yo dieting and weight loss/weight gain vicious circle I used to endure.

I am a fully qualified eating psychology coach. I trained with the Institute for The Psychology of Eating.


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Connect To Your Inner Feminine To Create Fulfilling Success With Stacy Bahrenfuss – Real Estate Women

REW 48 | Inner Feminine


Connection is the missing piece to whole life success. It can mean many things, but most importantly, it means connecting with your source, your inner state, your inner feminine. It’s not that hard to reconnect with it. It’s just the fact that so few among us have done it that it looks difficult when really, it’s not. Real estate investor and life coach, Stacy Bahrenfuss joins Moneeka Sawyer today to show you just how simple it can be. With just a few steps, Stacy can guide you to connect with your source, nurture a blissful inner state, and allow it to lead the way to success and fulfillment. Join in to learn how you can do this at home! And don’t forget to rejoin them on Extra, where Stacy throws in even more valuable wisdom!

Listen to the podcast here


Connect To Your Inner Feminine To Create Fulfilling Success With Stacy Bahrenfuss – Real Estate Women

Real Estate Investing For Women

I am so excited to welcome to our show, Stacy Bahrenfuss. Stacy is the Founder of the Catalyst Group and creator of the Inside Out Success Method, a system at the core of her premier consulting program for female change-makers, the Limitless with Stacy B. Stacy started Catalyst Group, her real estate company, at the age of 19. She sustained her company through the housing crisis of 2007 to 2010. She continues to scale her business beyond the seven-figure mark to become one of the top-performing real estate teams in the state of Idaho. Stacy’s experience is vast. She has been a single agent, has run a large team, and has even operated as the designated broker for Catalyst Group as a brokerage. She has personally funded and sold a development project consisting of eleven upper-tier new luxury homes while still operating her real estate team at the Catalyst. Her success in the real estate world has given her a vehicle to share her mission, vision and purpose. Now she guides female global change-makers to discover inner freedom and fulfillment to create lasting success from a beautiful inner state to achieve the change and results they wish to see in the world. How are you?

I am great. Thank you so much for having me.

You’ve done a lot of stuff. It’s interesting when I looked at your bio or looked at your questions, I knew that so much of what you do is mindset stuff, which is key to success. I didn’t realize initially how involved in real estate you are. This is fantastic. I’m excited how relevant this is going to be. 

I’m very excited too. The merge between both is so vital for a successful real estate business.

Most of the people that come on board to talk on the show about mindset might have a little bit of investing experience, but not to the depth that you have. This is amazing. Why don’t you start by giving us a little bit of your story, the two-minute version? 

REW 48 | Inner Feminine

Inner Feminine: Succeeding without stress means going to the root of the issue internally and being willing to courageously look at whatever is there.


It all started when I was a senior in high school. I was joking around with a few of my friends and we had heard about a local real estate office near a resort town that I lived in that was going to be opening. I said, “I’m going to apply as a salesperson.” I was seventeen at the time. They ended up calling me and hiring me as the sales coordinator’s assistant. I worked part-time and did that, and finished high school at that time. I knew right away that this was my career path to get into real estate.

I saw a gap that I could fill, which was the consumer experience and the way that I was seeing agents at that time. It was 2004, 2005, things were booming and going crazy. I saw a gap that I could fill to improve the industry. I got started at that point and then got licensed when I was 19 because I knew I wanted to be the change. I started my career at that point and then started building my team five years later in 2011. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done it intentionally to be able to simplify things so that I can share with others, that they too can do whatever it is they want to do in the real estate business or beyond the real estate business.

I say the same thing in all of my stuff, but you say that you can have success without stress. Let’s talk a little bit about that. I’ll give you a little background on me too. I talk a lot about bliss, and bliss is about creating systems, a business or a life that has very little stress and is filled with joy through the whole process. I feel like we’re aligned with that. Talk to me a little bit about building success without stress. 

Your methodology and your mission are what I was very excited about, meeting you and coming on your show for all of those reasons you listed because we’re much in alignment. For me, succeeding without stress is different than taking an intense breathing exercise to raise the stress in the body, to be able to perform at a higher level. That’s a different type of stress. The stress I’m talking about is that inner state of suffering that no matter what’s going on externally, it could be a different situation. You’re still feeling that same thing, that same feeling.

Succeeding without stress means going to the root of whatever the issue is internally, and being willing to courageously look at things that may be whether it’s a pain or hurt or something that happened in your past. That is the trigger that keeps being activated by these external situations. When you do that and you start to clear things, it’s like the drain. Seeing your truth is like the drain pouring down to clear things. When you can do that, you’re able to succeed at such a different level because you’re clear and calm inside. You’re able to make more clear and powerful decisions. You don’t have to work as hard with so much push. It’s more of the flow.

You have a specific methodology for this. Is that true?

That is true.

Could you tell us a little about that?

The methodology is going to the root of whatever is going on as I explained briefly, identifying whatever that thing is. A key one is looking at relationships in your life that may be a soft spot or a pain point, and seeing how you contribute to that pain. It’s so easy for us to blame others. If we can start to look at situations, if we’re frustrated or feeling pain in some way, to ask ourselves, how are we contributing to that situation? The game changes at that point. That’s what that methodology is all about. It’s not only taking your power back, but taking your power back by taking responsibility for your life completely. In doing so, you’re able to look at things differently so that you can perform at a higher level.

That methodology is first to see the truth and to see that pain, but not to stop there. What you need to do then is build that vision for your life and understand what you’re seeking. Once you are successful at this level, then you’ll be happy. We’ve all heard that. To understand what the emotions are, I always say it’s like a vending machine in a way that is already within you. You just need to select. “I want to be happy. If I succeed at this level, I’ll be happy.” Changing that and seeing that you can get the happiness out of the vending machine now without going after that. Therefore that might change your pursuits and what you’re trying to achieve. The methodology breaks that down so that can come into focus.

I still love what you’re talking about around there’s a way that we are taught in the world to create our happiness. We pursue this. Once we achieve that, we will be happy. There are all these people out there saying, “Happiness is an inside job and you should be,” or whatever. We’re all trained to go after the things that are going to make us happy, whether it’s business success, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a car, a house, or whatever it is. We’re going after those things that we think they’ll make us happy. What’s interesting is that for those people who have gone after those things and gotten those things, you realize that, “That didn’t make me happier.” Who you are on the inside is what you take to that final result. You’ll never be happy then if you can’t be happy now. There will always be a feeling of discontent. Turning our training in the way that we’ve been culturally brought up on its head, starting with the happy feeling, and then determining our pursuits from who we are on the inside, rather than what we think is going to make us happy, can completely change the trajectory of our life. 

You can either be fueled by a blissful inner state a fearful inner state. There isn't any other option. Share on X

Also to your point of turning it on its head, a lot of people go, “If I start with happiness first inside, I’m truly discontent.” The response to that is, “Exactly, you need to see first that you’re discontent.” That is the truth. If you stop trying to escape that and see it for what it is, that is when you can make room for the formula to become happy first. You first have to see the truth instead of resisting the discontent.

I love that. I use the term bliss rather than happy. It’s a deeper emotional content. One of my coaches specifically said to me, “I don’t want to be blissful because then I’ll lose all my motivation.” I was completely shocked by that. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard this yourself, Stacy, “I don’t want to be happy because then, why would I work hard?” The thing is that when you’re content, you tend to work harder because your dreams are bigger. They’re based more on you rather than some outside force telling you what you should be. When it’s based on you, your drive is significantly bigger. Your passion is bigger. Your want to achieve becomes bigger. That’s also counterintuitive. When you’re happier, you will achieve more because of your capacity to dream. Would you agree with me on that? 

Absolutely 150%. It is stemming from you either can be fueled by a blissful inner state as you describe it or a fearful inner state. There isn’t another option. You can call it different things, those are the core options. When you are coming from a fearful state, it’s not going to be sustainable and you have to work extra hard to get the same result. When you’re fueled by bliss or that beautiful state, it’s a natural passion, a natural motivation that rises. It’s not a contrived motivation that you have to create if you’re coming from suffering.

You talk a lot about inner states. Bliss from my perspective is the ultimate inner state, but we have many of those. Your methodology is based on inner states, how to distinguish them, how to utilize your inner states, and distinguishing them for success. Talk to me a little bit about how that works in your methodology.  

As we were talking about, there are two options of the inner state. The first part is looking at resistance first, and any disconnect or discontent, any uncomfortable inner vibe or feeling that you’re experiencing. Although it may seem like something you have to overcome, it’s the biggest gift because it’s come to show you the way. What I mean by that is if you’re willing to dig into that to clear up at inner state, you’re going to see how to clear that at such a deep level that you no longer are struggling with that anymore. The importance of that is things you create will become more sustainable and your relationships are going to improve. It’s not only that but also your presence. We all want more confidence. We all want to play full out. All of these terms of let’s go to that next level. Truly what happens, and that’s why I call it limitless, is when you are willing to get in touch with the resistance, the disconnect, and the discontent within you, and dig into what that is and stop resisting it, your next level is limitless because you’re not bogged down by those negative emotions.

It’s so interesting because as humans, we only have so many hours in the day, and we only have so much energy to expend. If we’re expending our energy on trying to keep ourselves lifted up because we have to fight the anchors that are pulling us down, that’s an energy drain that we cannot use in other ways. We cannot use them to create freedom, success and love. We’re using them to fight anger and to carry that around. When we’re able to release those inner states of fear or whatever, then we release a lot of energy to focus on the things that we want. The one thing I strongly believe, I’d love to hear your feedback on this, is all of our emotions teach us something. They show us where the discontent is.

I believe that we have a right to all of those feelings. If we’re angry, in despair, having a bad day, or if someone died, we’re having a bad month, we have a right to all of those emotions, but we don’t have to live in those emotions. What I say is honor them, feel them, live in them for a little while, but don’t make them your home. You want to make your home those inner states that support your joy, success, and freedom. Do you agree with me on that? 

I do, and to go into a little more detail of my thoughts on it is especially as women, we are told what it means to be a good girl. We’re taught that a good girl doesn’t show if she’s upset. That’s part of the problem why both men and women have difficulty not making it their emotional home because we’re taught so much in society that, “You don’t feel it. Who has time for that? Put it in this file over here.” That is that heavy shackle on us that doesn’t allow us to create a new emotional home. If we can just see it, allow it, feel it, and sometimes you don’t even know how to feel it because we’re so ingrained to escape, distract ourselves, go over here. The problem is that the monster keeps getting bigger and bigger, and it starts to bring all of its friends. I agree with you.

Tell us a little bit about the Triple Threat System.  

REW 48 | Inner Feminine

Inner Feminine: Although discontent may look like something to overcome, it is actually the biggest gift because it has come to show you the way.


The Triple Threat System is something I use every day, and something that I contribute much of my success to because it’s given me that foundation. In many ways, a quick process to go through if time is short or if I have all the time in the world. It’s very versatile in that way. There are three steps, thus the name Triple Threat System. The first step is to take three conscious breaths. When I say conscious breaths, I mean to set a timer on your phone for three minutes and take deep inhalations, and try to make your exhalations longer. If you can, double the count of the first inhalation. It would be breathing in deep for two counts. You count in your mind and then exhale for four. That would be double. Do that for three minutes. That’s step one of the Triple Threat System. Once you do that, what you’ve done is you’ve created very calm soil to then plant what the contents are of step two, which is to write down three things you’re grateful for.

Sometimes it’s like, “I don’t know what I can come up with.” Think about the last 24 hours. Think about simple things that you’re grateful for like you could brush your teeth this morning, that you can walk down the hallway. Sometimes the simpler, the better to start because our mind is conditioned to look for what’s wrong. When you can start the day with that calm first step of a clear mind, that first batch of seeds that you plant are those of gratitude, then it’s a prime foundation to go into step three, which is focusing on your short and long-term goals. My three short three long-term goals. What that does is it sets you up for the day. It prepares you no matter what comes your way. It also keeps your short and long-term goals front of mind. What I love about that is, we need to constantly be asking ourselves if my vision is current.

When you’re that in touch with short and long-term goals, you’re able to adjust as life evolves. You could be in the middle of a pursuit of a goal and decide that, “This isn’t what I want anymore,” and change course. That’s the Triple Threat System. You can do it in ten minutes. You could also stretch it out to 30 if you want to do a little bit longer breathing. What I love about it is that no matter how much time you have, it’s very adaptable.

I love how simple it is. I want to say, ladies, so much of the time when I talk to you, one of the questions that I get, or one of the comments that I get a lot of is, “I don’t have a lot of time and I want easy systems to be able to fit into a little bit of a time that I’ve got.” If I give an easy system, something like the Triple Threat that’s very simplified. We’ve all heard a lot of these components in different shows and different places. You’re like, “That’s too simple. I’ve heard that before. I need something that’s going to be a little bit more effective than that.” You’re not alone, ladies, if you’ve had those thoughts. I’ve had those thoughts too. 

The thing is that until you try it and implement it for a significant period of time, and I’m talking like a month, you’re not going to know what the results are. Just because it’s simple does not mean that it’s not powerful. The simpler it is, the more implementable it is, the more powerful it is. You do need to do it. You have to take action. We talk about action all the time. You have to do it and give it a chance to work. I want to say that I love this. We’ve had a lot of people come onto the show and talk about morning routines. I’ve talked about morning routines, but Stacy is giving you something super easy and super implementable. 

You can do it in five minutes, or you can do it in 30 minutes, and just because it’s simple does not mean that it’s not powerful. I would encourage you to write down her three steps, and then implement them into your life for the next 30 days to see if they work for you. Everybody is different. Different things work for each of us in different ways. You might want to change your route. You might want to implement it a little bit differently but first, you try it her way. I love how simplified that says, so thank you for that, Stacy.  

One thing that I do too is I look at this as that foundation. I said that multiple times. What’s great about it is that it’s very easy to add an accessory to it. Maybe you want to work on another aspect. Keeping that in mind is something that I’ll do when time is allotted. I like to have that go-to. If I can find ten minutes anywhere, no matter how crazy the day is, it’s nice to have that go-to no matter what.

Inner connection is the missing ingredient to whole life success. Share on X

We’re going to talk more about how she fits this into her life and the actual implementation of this into her life. I’m excited about that in EXTRA. Let’s talk a little bit about EXTRA. We’re going to talk more about the Triple Threat System. We’re also going to talk specifically more about real estate. One of the things that Stacy and I talked about before was when people see a property online, they think it looks like a good deal, but it’s important that we go through the numbers. We take a look at, is it a good deal on the balance sheet? I always say to you, ladies, that our business in real estate investing is a people business, but the numbers have to work for us to get to the people part. Stacy is going to go through in EXTRA how to validate a property if you think it’s a great deal, how do you go through and make sure that it is? Those are the couple of things we’re going to be talking about in EXTRA. Do you want to add anything, Stacy? 

I’m very excited about both of those. I didn’t talk about this in the pre-show, but I do have a special tool that I’m going to share with you to share with your EXTRA people that helps validate that investment at a deeper level. It’s a simple Excel spreadsheet that works every time. That’s my gift to you.

That’s for the EXTRA portion of the show. We’ve talked a lot about being limitless, inner states, and all of that stuff. What would you say is the missing ingredient for a whole life success?

Much of it is related to what we’ve talked about that we’ve lost that connection. The missing piece is connection. It sounds very simple, but it’s profound. We’re in a society, in a world that’s more connected than ever technology-wise, but leaving us feeling more disconnected than ever. The missing ingredient being connection, it means first and foremost, connecting to yourself and being able to utilize that not just in the personal development side of things. What we’ve talked about thus far, but also connecting to yourself when you have a gut feeling about something, analyzing your business. Connecting to your source is also what I mean. That is that missing ingredient to a whole life success. When you understand that you no longer have to rely on external feedback to justify how you’re feeling or your thoughts about something, the power goes from 5 to 50, as far as that. It’s an immediate increase in your ability to take action, follow through, and achieve your goals.

Thank you so much for that. It is true and even the client relationships or tenant relationships we fail, and I fall into this. I’m a little bit surprised to watch myself sometimes because I feel like the relationships in my life are everything. Those are the things that have been the reason for my success. Even then, there’s an awful lot of texting that happens. That could be a phone call that creates a connection or a visit to the house or something like that. Communication has become so easy that it’s allowing us to not make it a priority or not give it the attention it deserves. 

One thing that we’re implementing within the team is the rule that a connection is not an email or text. It’s only a phone call, and that it’s an adjustment. It’s a reminder to be more mindful of more than anything. People are craving for connection right now. That alone can be your differentiator, by reaching out instead of doing what everyone else is doing, which is relying on technology.

Could you tell everybody how they can meet you? 

Yes. Because my last name is so challenging to say, everyone calls me Stacy B. My website is the best way to get in touch with me. That is LimitlessWithStacyB.com.

Are you ready for the three rapid-fire questions?

Yes, I was born ready.

Could you tell us one super tip on getting started investing in real estate?

The biggest thing is to do the homework and the research. What I mean by that is go and connect with a lender because a lot of times, we let the lack of knowledge in something hold us back. We think that we need to wait until we do X, Y, or Z. I can’t tell you how many times I have experienced and clients might have experienced going and doing that research, getting different opinions on the lending side has opened up an opportunity to take action on an investment property. The biggest thing is if you are interested in real estate, get in touch with a professional, a mortgage professional, or a real estate professional that you know because you would be surprised at how empowered you can be so quickly. Let’s say you can’t get the loan, or it’s not a good time. You can make a very aggressive plan to prepare for whatever it is you need to complete to be able to qualify.

What would you say is one strategy on being successful in real estate investing? 

The biggest strategy is to go for it. The only thing that a seller or someone else can say is no if they don’t accept your offer. Don’t be afraid to make ten different offers. Throw that net out to see who bites, depending on the product. That’s one way, but another way is don’t be afraid to pursue a property. Although it doesn’t happen as much right now, it will happen again. If it is overpriced, going in $50,000, $100,000 low with the justification of how you arrived at those numbers. All they can say is no. I’ve had so many times where they came down to almost the price that we offered. The biggest thing is to pursue it and don’t be afraid of that rejection.

What would you say is one daily practice that contributes to your personal success?

It’s my morning routine. With that though, it’s that Triple Threat System and it’s also incorporating at least ten minutes of reading my workouts, and my time with my Earl Grey tea, which is my favorite beverage.

REW 48 | Inner Feminine

Inner Feminine: We’re in a society that’s more connected than ever technology-wise, but it’s also leaving us feeling more disconnected than ever.


Stacy, this has been so much fun. Thank you so much for everything you’ve offered on this portion of the show.

Thank you so much for the opportunity. It’s been a pleasure.

Ladies, thank you for joining Stacy for this portion of the show. If you’re not subscribed to EXTRA but would like to be, you can go to RealEstateInvestingForWomenEXTRA.com, and you get the first seven days for free. You can get this EXTRA. You can get a ton of other EXTRAs. I’ve got more than 50 up there, so you can binge on those and see if it’s for you. If you want to stay subscribed, you can. If not, you’ve got a lot of good content so check it out. Thank you so much for joining us. You know how much I appreciate you. I look forward to seeing you next time and until then, remember, goals without action are just dreams. Get out there, take action, and create a life your heart deeply desires. I’ll see you soon.


Important Links


About Stacy Bahrenfuss

REW 48 | Inner FeminineStacy is the owner of a 7-figure real estate company, and Founder of The Truth Teachers™ and Ultimate Breakthrough Accelerator™. Her programs consist of intuitive 1:1 consulting, group coaching, and an exclusive certification program.

Stacy began her entrepreneurial journey in the real estate industry at the early age of 19, sustained through the housing crisis of 2007-2010, and continued to build the business to be a 7-figure operation and one of the top real estate teams in the state of Idaho.

In 2018, Stacy personally funded and sold a development project consisting of 11 upper-tier luxury homes while still operating her real estate team. Her husband runs the operations of the real estate team today, while Stacy resides in an Advisory role.

Stacy is on a mission to smash the shackles of suffering by shining a light on the truth so that her clients can achieve everything they want. Her programs serve as a catalyst for deep inner transformation to create lasting whole life success, and how to do it all from a limitless, beautiful inner state.

Stacy is a recipient of a 2020 Gold Stevie Award in Consumer services with 10 or less employees.


Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share!

Join the Real Estate Investing for Women Community today:


To listen to the EXTRA portion of this show go to RealEstateInvestingForWomenExtra.com

To see this program in video:

Search on Roku for Real Estate Investing 4 Women or go to this link: https://blissfulinvestor.com/biroku

On YouTube go to Real Estate Investing for Women

Build A Business, Not A Glorified Job With Aaron Scott Young


Are you building a business or a glorified job? At The Unshackled Owner, Aaron Scott Young asks this game-changing question to entrepreneurs as the first step to helping them build stronger businesses while proactively protecting their dreams. Fully embodying the concept himself, Aaron lives a truly successful and blissful life that few other people can model. Moneeka Sawyer brings him in on this episode to share snippets of entrepreneurial wisdom that will surely be of value to all women real estate investors out there. Have you taken a look lately at how you’re approaching your business, whether you’re in real estate or something else? Listen in and take away a cupful of sure-fire secrets to success – whatever that word means to you.

Listen to the podcast here


Build A Business, Not A Glorified Job With Aaron Scott Young

I am delighted to introduce you to Aaron Scott Young. Aaron is a renowned entrepreneur with more than 30 years of experience in several multi-million-dollar companies under his belt. Aaron has made it his life’s work to arm business owners with success formulas that immediately provide exponential growth and protection. Fully embodying the concept of the unshackled business owner, he inspires others to do the same by empowering them to build strong companies while proactively protecting their dreams. This is what Aaron knows. When you have the right systems and culture in place, you can build a business that works for you, one that is optimized for cashflow, growth and progress.

A lifelong entrepreneur, trusted advisor to CEOs, outsource chief strategy officer and creator of The Unshackled Owner, a program for entrepreneurs looking to build a business, not just a glorified job, Aaron is armed with the expertise needed to quickly get to the heart of complex issues, identify solutions and eliminate the path to forward progress. His unique vantage point sets him apart from the crowd as a voice of real-world knowledge and authority. Aaron, welcome to the show. Ladies, I want to give you a little perspective on how I know Aaron. You all know Maureen. She’s been on the show many times. She was like, “Moneeka, you got to get to know this guy, Aaron.”

She did an introduction to us. He and I ended up connecting while he was driving horses across country because he invested in horses. There was something that I realized about Aaron. He runs a huge number of businesses. He’s hugely successful and he lives his blissful lifestyle. There are few people that truly model that the way that Aaron does. I had to share him with you. What’s funny about this is he’s doing so many things we don’t even know what to talk about. We’re going to get this conversation going and see how it goes. I know no matter what we talk about, it’s going to be great for you, ladies. Let’s get this conversation going.

I’m excited to be here. It was funny that when that conversation first happened, I don’t know where I was. It was a long trip. It was like 5,500 miles round trip from Washington State to Alabama and back. We covered sixteen states and bought four horses on that trip and brought them home. That was during one of the scariest times of COVID. A lot of people were very concerned that my wife and I were going to get in the truck and drive clear across the country and back and be in different situations and not know if there’s an outbreak or something.

Here’s what I noticed on that trip, which was so exciting. People were still going about their lives. They might’ve been amending things a little bit, might’ve been putting on their mask, but you can’t stop the resilience of American business owners. We hear a lot of negative stuff, especially in a political period like we’re in right now, where there’s a lot of negative about businesses need to pay more and people making money need to pay more. Somehow, it’s unfair to be successful. It’s unjust in some way.

I watched these business owners like you and your readers who understand that the way we continue to be an entrepreneur, the way we continue to set the course of our own life is by not being damned or stopped by whatever’s going on in the society. Our job is to adapt, to figure out how can we engage. It was exciting to see that all the way across the breadth of the United States to watch people in different states, with different rules, with different levels of concern, still figuring out a way, and that’s what makes entrepreneurs so cool.

It’s why I’ve loved dedicating my life ever since I was young like 25 to working with business owners. That’s what we’ve been doing. I’m getting to be an old gray hair dude. That’s been the joy of my business life. It’s working with people that are business owners because they’re interesting and cool. You certainly struck me that way on our first chat. I thought I can’t wait to have this conversation. It was a little connection back to my drive, which was exciting. The horses are doing well, by the way.

I was going to ask about that next. This whole thing about entrepreneurs is we’re all watching what’s going on out there. Entrepreneurs are the heart blood. They’re what create our economy. It’s not big business. It’s all of these entrepreneurs all the way from the mom-and-pop shop all the way to big business. This whole concept of money is evil or if you’re too successful, that’s because other people are suffering. There are bad apples. There are people that think that way, but there aren’t a lot of us.

Being successful does not mean you’re doing something that is to the detriment of others. Share on X

That’s such a good point for my ladies to know because so much of creating success is our mindset. If you think success is evil deep down inside your head, you’re never going to be successful because you don’t want to be evil. It’s important for us to understand that we are the economy. The business owner is the economy. We are what creates what’s all wonderful and amazing in this world or in this country. We lead the world. Our success is paramount to the bliss of the country. Wouldn’t you say?

The 86.3% of Gross Domestic Product or GDP is created by companies of 50 employees or less. That’s all the main street shops. That’s the person selling Tupperware. That’s the person that is working in the coffee kiosk. That’s the person who owns the landscape business. That’s the person who owns the restaurant, the dental office, the title company, the realtors, the real estate investors. Almost all of the velocity of money, the movement of the money is by small business.

Eighty-three percent of all new jobs created were created by companies of 100 employees or less. You’re getting into any number of manufacturing, jobs, office jobs, people like me who have dozens of white-collar medium paying jobs for the most part, people that are making $40,000 to $70,000 a year. I employ a bunch of people like that. These are companies of 100 employees or less. It is the lifeblood. Without it, we’re in trouble. Thankfully, the government knows it. I don’t want to be political because I’m not overly political in my way of dealing with the world. It is frustrating for me when I recognize that that politicians will create this divide of the worker and the boss.

Even if you’re the CEO of a three-person company making $250,000 a year and you’re taking home less than your employees, but because you’re the one signing the check, they think you’re more successful. It’s a real shame to see the division that’s created by trying to say the people that are owning the companies, that are employing people, the corporations, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean, they’re somehow nefarious. They’re cheating somehow.

It’s not true. If you look at the most successful people, a great story is Mark Cuban, who’s on the Shark Tank. He owns the Dallas Mavericks. He’s a billionaire. He talks about when he was young building his business, he was paying his employees, but he had no money himself. He was couch surfing. He would go into McDonald’s and he couldn’t buy a cheeseburger. He’d get ketchup packages and squeeze them into his mouth to eat something.

During the recession back in ‘08, by the time it caught up with us in 2010, my business partner and I had to talk about do we do a massive layoff of people or do we take the hit? We get paid more than everybody else. He and I both took 80% pay cuts. We both ended up having to short sell our homes and move into rentals, but we didn’t fire one employee. We knew that if we keep the employees together, that when the economy comes back, we’ll be ready to receive and be on the front of the wave of growth.

That’s how most business owners look at their business. They look at it as a stewardship, as a responsibility, not as some way to take advantage of other people. What do those employers do? They hire people. They pay for health insurance. We do matching on our 401(k). We give money to causes. We donate to charities. We give money to the food bank. We do a Toys-for-Tots drive at Christmas. We give a piano to an old folk’s home. The people that are successful are usually successful because they’ve built a team around them and they know they have to feed the team before they feed themselves.

If there’s a lot left over, they get to keep it. If there’s not a lot leftover, they get to not eat. They get to eat ketchup while the employees get to eat whatever, even if it’s macaroni and cheese. At least they’re not squeezing ketchup packages. One of the first things we want to do as business owners and as entrepreneurs is get a healthy understanding of why it’s okay to be successful. That being successful does not mean that you’ve done at the detriment of others. I was going to say that you’ve left people behind. You may have to leave people behind in your growth because they will not support you in your growth, but that does not mean that you’ve done anything wrong to them. It means that your relationships and your use of time has evolved to a different place.

REW 39 | The Unshackled Owner

The Unshackled Owner: Most business owners look at their business as a stewardship, not as some way to take advantage of other people.


I have a lot of very successful friends that are entrepreneurs. Every once in a while, we’ll be in a conversation. Someone else will be at the table. They sold an app to Starbucks or they sold something. They have a lot of money. They’re starting a new project and someone will say invariably to them, “Why are you starting another other company? You made all that money. Why aren’t you going to retire?” The thing about entrepreneurs is that it’s not about the money. They want to be successful so that they can sustain their vision. For most entrepreneurs, it’s about what can I do in the world to make the world a better place? How can I create jobs? There’ve been so many times where I’ve been in a class and I’m like, “I don’t know.” I’ve heard people say, “I’m going to do this because look at how many jobs I can create.” They end up with 50 businesses like you. They’ve got their whole structure of how they’re going to run those businesses. The whole thing is about creating jobs and improving the lives of others.

Aaron Young’s personal goal has nothing to do with anything specific to any one of my businesses. This is the thing that is my undergirding effort at this time of my life. I decided this a few years ago. I’m a big one about putting numbers and dates on stuff. I’m a real believer in doing that. I do that, but on this, you’re going to know a very conspicuous absence of either of those things. I decided the best thing I can do with my professional life going forward, the rest of my life is to help more companies stay in business for more years making more money. Why do I say it that way?

I heard on the news that a 194-year-old company, a retailer called Lord & Taylor, has decided to close shop permanently. An almost 200-year-old company is closing down. The whole time I grew up, Kodak was a mega company, so was Sears and Roebuck and JCPenney and on and on. You could buy Pontiac cars. These things are gone. Sears and JCPenney are still there. They’re both in bankruptcy and they’re not going to make it. Kodak’s gone. Pontiac’s gone.

Companies don’t last for forever, but if we can keep them in business for more years and making more money because of teaching best practices, keeping them up to date on what’s going on in the law, in the IRS code, different ways of leveraging their businesses, what are the advantages of taking it on a different marketplace? If you’re going to help them with that, they’re going to hire more people. They’re going to donate more money. They’re going to pay more taxes that fix the roads, pay for the schools and all the things that make the community work.

I’m not going to say I’m going to help 1 billion people. I hear people say that crap. You know how much 1 billion is? There are seven billion people on the whole planet. The odds that you’re going to get 1 in 7 of them is pretty damn low. I don’t care if you’re giving away free water. It’s going to be hard to get to a seventh of the whole population of the world. If it’s 10 or 100 or 100,000, I’m not hung up on it anymore. I’m going to keep pushing information out to help them survive a little longer, a little more successfully. That’s what will keep that backbone of America, that lifeblood flowing, as you described at the beginning. That’s what’s going to keep it going. If we help people get another 2 or 3 steps into that dark tunnel of entrepreneurship, help illuminate a little bit more of their path, they’ll survive longer. They’ll survive more successfully and they’ll spread the wealth.

That’s the thing is they spread the wealth. That’s the end game.

Even the people that the politicians gripe about and say they’re not fair, if you think about it. I watched the thing the other day on Netflix or something about Jeff Bezos real estate. He’s got these enormous homes all over the freaking place, big houses, big estates. I thought every one of those took people to build, people to maintain, people to do the yard, people to do the pool, people to come in and clean the house, people did protect him. A rich guy like Bezos not only is employing hundreds of thousands of individuals in their companies, Whole Foods, Amazon, The Washington Post, and so on, but even in their excess, even in their mansions, they’ve got a team. I’ll guarantee you nobody’s getting paid minimum wage to work behind the walls of Jeff Bezos’ compound.

Everybody’s vetted. Everybody’s getting paid well. He wants you to keep your mouth shut about what you see around the house. These are good jobs, even for those unicorn individuals who go, “Look at their excessive lifestyle, they could pay more.” I promise you, they’re paying more like the entire neighborhood over here is paying. Even if their tax rates a little lower, they’re paying a lot more money for all of these free programs, for all of these trillions of dollars of COVID bailout. People think, “The government saved us.” The top 50% of wage earners are going to be paying that bill for a long time. The bottom 50% have taxes taken out and they get all their money back. The top 50%, especially the top 10%, pay almost all the tax. If you don’t want rich people around, you’re in deep trouble.

Money won't make you happy, but it will make you happier. Share on X

It’s important to remember that successful people are the ones carrying the risk. Everybody that gets a paycheck assumes it’s going to cash. Everybody, all of my employees twice a month assume that check will be good. Guess whose responsibility it is to make sure the check is good? It’s me. I can have a nicer car, home, or I can have luxury pets like the horses that we breed and raised. I still have to make $500,000 payroll every month just for my internal team. Somehow that has to be accomplished and nobody else has the risk. There’s only us, the owners that have the risk. It’s good to have money. Ladies, don’t be afraid of money.

It is good to have money. I am so with you on that.

Money won’t make you happy, but money will make you happier. Money is a magnifier. If you’re a jerk, it’s going to make you a bigger jerk. If you’re a kind, generous person, you’re going to be more generous. If you’re a builder, you’re going to build more. If you’re a hoarder, you’re going to hoard more, but money will only magnify who you are. If you want to make a big dent in the world, make sure who you are as a human, and then go make a ton of money and you’ll do good work.

That’s the message of my entire show. I’ve got a huge range of ladies on the show. We’ve got people that are single moms trying to get by. We’ve got CEO women who have reached the top echelons of their companies and are like, “Is this it? I don’t want to work this hard for the rest of my life.” We’ve got all these ladies. Let’s talk to them about how you define unshackled and how this applies to real life.

I started that program, The Unshackled Owner, a few years ago after I’d been at my beach house for almost two months. My wife and I were down there and hanging out. We’re posting on social media and when you first go on a fun outing, people get excited for you, “Have fun, beautiful sunset, you guys look so happy.” After a few weeks, they’re like, “What are you doing? When are you heading back?” After a month, they’re demanding answers.

I’m getting all this messaging because we’d already been to Europe for three weeks twice that year where I’d go speak for a couple of days and then we goofed around for a few weeks. That year was an interesting year leading up to June and July at the beach house. It was the first time it had ever even occurred to me that maybe other people didn’t do things the way I did them. It wasn’t that I was trying to create a course to go sell and make a bunch of money. Financially, I was great. I was golden. I didn’t need to do it. I’d never even thought of teaching a course.

When I started responding back to people and talking to these small business owners, it became clear that things that I had learned through mentors, reading, life’s challenges from the time I was nineteen because I started my first company with a payroll right before my nineteenth birthday. I ended up selling it and taking that money and starting another company when I was 23 or something like that. I learned these things, but it became clear to me a lot of other people hadn’t. The reason I used unshackled and believe me, our marketing department freaked out when I use the word unshackled.

They hated that word. They said, “That’s a negative word. That sounds like slavery. That sounds like bondage.” I’m like, “That’s what it feels like for a lot of people who own businesses.” They feel like they work for the business. The business owns them. They went into this to achieve some financial or life freedom or abundance and instead they’re locked in doing crud they hate doing. They hate balancing their checkbook. They hate doing the marketing. They don’t want to do the sales. They want to make candles, but they don’t want to sell them. Whatever it is, they were in bondage. I said, “I understand that you don’t like the word unshackled, but that’s because you’re an employee, not an employer.” The employer will get it.

REW 39 | The Unshackled Owner

The Unshackled Owner: No matter how smart you are, you can only do what you can do. Refusing to recognize that is what turns you into a shackled slave for your business.


I want you to know that that was the thing that completely ignited me on our conversation. It was that word, unshackled. What I want to highlight is there is such a big mindset difference between the employee and the owner.

The owners get in and they’re working their tails off. What most people do is they start with a little tiny bit of money, or maybe no money. If you’re doing real estate investment, maybe real estate sales here. Maybe scrapes somebody together, takes the real estate exam, pays for all their fees to have the little R on their business card. They don’t have any money. They have to go out and have to get a listing. They’ve got to sell something or they take some of their retirement money out of a 401(k) or an IRA and self-direct it into their first rental house or first duplex or something.

They’re hanging on by their fingernails. They’re barely surviving. They’re wondering, “What did I get myself into? Why did I do this? I’ve quit a job now or I’m letting my job slide while I’m trying to do my side hustle. What if I lose the job?” There’s this very real stress becomes in that transition, that beginning. You get a little success. You make a few bucks. All of a sudden, you go from squeezing the ketchup packages into your mouth to being able to not pay that much attention when you go out to dinner. When you go to the grocery store, you can run your debit card and you don’t worry about it cause there’s enough money.

You’re working ten-hour days. You’re taking calls at 9:00 at night. You’re doing things on the weekend and your revenue and your earnings are going up. Your lifestyle is improving, meaning your acquisitions, the place you live, the car you drive, the food you eat, maybe even sending your kids to a charter school or private school, that’s all improving. Your life itself is going in the tank because the only way to make more money is to work more hours, more days. You say, “I cannot go on like this. I need to hire an assistant. I need to hire a bookkeeper. I need to hire,” fill in the blanks. “I need some help in this particular area.”

You get it here in your brain. You think, “If I hire a decent person to do that job and I have to pay them $3,000, $4,000 a month to start working for me or I’m going to pay this admin person $1,000 or $1,500 a month part time to work for me, that’s coming out of my pocket. What element of my lifestyle is going to have to go down in order for me to make the risk of hiring this employee? I’m a little afraid to do that because I don’t know about hiring people. I don’t know about managing people. I don’t know if they’re going to steal from me. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

I don’t know if they’re going to do a good job.

Maybe they’ll do a crummy job. How many people am I going to have to go through to get a good one? You get into this tug of war between, “I know I need help, but I don’t dare risk the money. I don’t want to move into a cheaper apartment. I don’t want to get a different car. I don’t want to take my kid out of that school. I don’t want to give up on my yoga meditation retreat to Loom.” They wait and they stay in startup mode and they become an absolute shackled slave, indentured servant, whatever, to their own success.

Plus, their success has as a ceiling because without a team of people, you can never do more than you can do. I don’t care how gifted you are. You could only do what you can do. A lot of people who end up as a good employer, hiring good people, generating revenue, still get a lot of juice, get a lot of buzz because there’s a line of people at their door knocking on the door, “Boss, can I get five minutes? Can you help me understand this? Can you help me close this? Can you talk to this person?”

Don’t try to make money from your passion. Find something the market wants to buy and then get passionate about the results you deliver. Share on X

The owner’s like, “I must be smart because looking at how everybody lines up outside my door and why would I want to teach everybody everything in my head because then they won’t need me. They’ll go off and do it themselves or what will I do?” A lot of people get stuck in that fear of who am I if I’m not the font of all wisdom and knowledge? These are characteristics of shackled people. Not everybody wants to be unshackled. Some people love the shackles. They love it.

Some people have a lifestyle business. They want to sit on the beach with their laptop and coach their clients or look at that list of bank properties or look at the tax lien companies. They want to do it. They don’t want anybody else. They can make money. I was on the phone with a great friend. She has a lifestyle business. She makes about $500,000 a year. If she stops working, the revenue stops flowing. If she got sick or she broke her back, or she had to go take care of an ailing parent, she couldn’t do her work and the revenue would slow down or go away. There’s nothing wrong with it as long as you acknowledge that you are self-employed.

You’re not an entrepreneur. You’re not a business owner. You are self-employed. Self-employed is okay. Not everybody needs to be an entrepreneur. As a matter of fact, according to the data from 2018, the median income, that means there’s as many below as above, not average, median income for entrepreneurs is $24,000 a year. It’s a crappy job. You may not want to do that because you’re probably going to be broke and stressed. Real entrepreneurs, somebody who’s what I consider mentally-ill entrepreneur, is someone who cannot help it. It’s like Tourette’s, you are going to say something that you didn’t want to say. You can’t stop. It’s a problem. If you don’t have resources to do it, you end up becoming spread very thin on ten things that you think all of them might be the magic golden ticket. You end up broke and stressed.

Unshackled owner, which I’m not trying to pitch, but you asked me what I mean by it. Unshackled owner is about getting the pieces in place, the formula, or let’s call it a recipe in place so you get the outcome that you want. The example I like to give is if I give you, Moneeka, a recipe for chocolate chip cookies. I give you the recipe. If you follow the recipe, do what I tell you to do, you’re not going to get a bicycle or sourdough bread, or a tire. You’re going to get chocolate chip cookies every time.

You may not make them the first time as well as I make them, but at least now you know the recipe. The more you work on the recipe and adjust to your altitude and put in the flavor, the little spice that you want, or I want to add walnuts or whatever you want to do, you can make it your own. At least if you follow a recipe, you will get a certain outcome. People have said, “How have you been a millionaire in recycling, cellular phones, barter, corporation, real estate, manufacturing?” How have I done it in all these different industries? How have I worked with hundreds and hundreds of people through this a few years in fertilizer, intellectual property law, publishing, and cosmetics? How? If you have the recipe, you will get the outcome.

There is no magic. There’s a reason Richard Branson can be in records, airlines, space travel, tourism. There’s a reason. There’s a formula. There’s a reason Steve Jobs made it in computers, telephones and animation. There’s a reason because there’s a formula. If you’ve learned the formula, you will get the result as long as your ingredients are good. People are always like, “Follow your bliss. Follow your passion,” to which is say crap, that is not true. My passion is my wife, my grandchildren, our farm, the ranch where we raised the horses. This is where I’m passionate about. Horseback riding in the mountains. I did that. I went for five days to one mountain range. I was out for twelve hours in the deep backwoods riding horses. That’s what I’m passionate about. Do I make any money from that? No. I lose money constantly on that. It’s a money loser. Find something the market wants to buy and then get passionate about the results you deliver. That’s magic.

Be passionate about how you fix things for people, solve problems, change lives. One of my companies, we do corporate minutes, minutes and resolutions. Every company that’s LLC or corporation is required by law to hold regular board meetings, keep minutes, pass resolutions. Yet 95% of small businesses don’t do it because there’s only one shareholder, one board member, one officer, one employee. It’s all the same person. It’s them. They’re like, “Why would I have to have a board meeting with myself? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The only reason to do it is because it’s the law. It will never matter until you get caught not doing it and then everything you have will be wiped out. How dull are board minutes and resolutions? That is the most boring thing in the world. We do this for tens of thousands of companies, provide this service. It’s dull as hell, but I had a guy stop me in a hotel. I was walking from the hotel to the convention center area. I was late. I was supposed to be backstage already. I was supposed to speak in like 30 minutes.

REW 39 | The Unshackled Owner

The Unshackled Owner: The team is critical to being able to do things that make a difference in the world, become unshackled and let your crazy entrepreneurial brain go to work.


This guy all crippled up on those crutches that wrap around your biceps. He’s all bent up and he’s hobbling down this long, wide hotel convention center hallway. I was a keynoter. They had big banners of me up at this convention thing. I thought, “I hope this guy doesn’t talk to me because I need to get backstage.” That seems maybe a little stuck up except for that’s what happens. There’s only the two of us in this great big hall. We meet and he says, “Aaron, can I talk to you for a minute?” I don’t know this guy from Adam. I said, “Sure, of course.” I stopped and I’m trying so hard to focus on his eyes and not his broken body. I know he’s aware of his physical condition. You know how it is sometimes hard not to stare.

He said, “I know you don’t know me. I’m sure you don’t recognize me although we met several years ago, but I’m one of your customers. I use your corporate veil protection service to do our minutes and resolutions.” I said, “Thank you so much for trusting us to help you with your business. I’m so grateful for that.” He’s like, “Let me tell you something. I was in a bad car accident a couple of years ago and that’s what happened to my body. I was in this horrific accident and I was at fault in the accident. Other people got very hurt. The insurance paid them, but it wasn’t nearly enough. They sued us. They took our home. They took our beach house. They took our retirement. They took our furniture. They took everything, but they couldn’t take our business because we’d separated it.”

“We’d legally done the work, the minutes, the resolutions, the formalities so that the company was separate from the personal estate. I was able to rent a house and feed my family and take care of things.” He said, “I want to say thank you that I’m still in business.” I didn’t mean to choke up but I get passionate about it. That’s a great story. I went to in Indianapolis, Indiana for an all-black women entrepreneurs, it’s called Sisterpreneur. I was the only white guy there speaking. I’d done it before. I come in to the cocktail party thing the evening before the whole thing is starting. This maybe 40-year-old, full of energy, full of pep woman comes up and, “Aaron,” and she throws her arms around my neck and she hugs me. I’m like, “Who is this?”

She said, “I need to tell you something.” I said, “What?” She goes, “I became your client like 3 or 4 years ago. Your team does a great job. Every time it was time to renew every year, I thought, ‘Am I a sucker? Am I stupid? Is this real? Do I need to be doing minutes and resolutions?’” She goes, “Then I went and applied for a government contract as a double minority, a black woman. Guess what the very first thing they asked for? Three years of minutes and resolutions. The first requirement is am I acting like a real business before I can even get considered for this contract?” She said, “And I had them.”

This is why it matters to do something that helps people in real world situations and then get passionate about the results you deliver. I can tell you stories about all kinds of different businesses that I am involved in, where by doing something that people need and want to buy when they know that it’s available, by doing a great job, which isn’t me. I stand in front of the team and say, “I go out and say this stuff from a stage in front of 100 or 1,000 people. You guys are the ones that keep me from being a liar when I say it from the stage. You’re the ones who deliver the results that I get the hugs for and I get the handshakes for.” It’s the team.

The team is critical to being able to do things that make a difference in the world and becoming unshackled where you can let that crazy entrepreneurial brain go to work. Once you get this one going and you get a team in place, then they’re following the recipe and now that’s working. Now you can do this next thing and then this next thing. The idea is do one thing until it’s working right before you start the second thing. Too many entrepreneurs try to do too many things and they do them badly. They do them badly, but they love telling their story.

They love the stories. It makes them in their poverty feel to sound cool at a networking event. I’m telling you get one thing dialed in working well with a team that understands how to operate. When that’s working, go to the next thing. You asked me before we started this, do I want to talk about Laughlin Associates? Do I want to talk about structuring, entities and corporate compliance and all that stuff? I said, “We can. I own that company.” Let me tell you, I haven’t visited the company. We have all these people. We have all this stuff going on. I have not walked in the door of that company for three years.

You don’t have to be there in order to have something that makes an enormous difference to tens and tens and tens of thousands of owners not even counting their employees, their families, the people that they buy from. Our ripple effect is big. You don’t have to be there if the recipe is working. That’s how you become wealthy, but also how you make a big difference is by getting stuff working, and then going to the next thing.

Don't let the things you want to accomplish in your life be limited because you're afraid that you're imperfect. Share on X

The thing that sets entrepreneurs, real entrepreneurs, the mentally crazy ones, the ones that Steve Jobs talked about, what’d he say, “Here’s to the crazy ones.” He’s talking about Einstein and the Wright Brothers and Henry Ford. If you’re one of the crazy ones, you have more ideas than you have ours. That means you’ve got to get a team together so that you can become unshackled from that project and begin the next one and the next one. When you have your parent diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and you have to go take two years off to take care of your mother who doesn’t remember who she is, you’re still making money. You’re still making a difference.

I have a hockey stick story of success. You can see from the time I was sixteen, I can tell you a story that looks like a fairy godmother was waving her wand over me all the time. It’s a lie. It’s not true because did I have success? Yes. Did I have failure? Yes. Did I go bankrupt when my wife was pregnant with our second child, nine months pregnant, sitting in bankruptcy court? Yes. Did I have a heart attack and have to have a bypass? Yes. Did I get sucked into a criminal action against one of our clients and ended up going to prison? Yes. I’ve had one challenge after another. The year I was in prison, my take home pay was $974,000. Sitting in a hospital, strung out on morphine for three weeks, trying to get over having my chest opened up and everything, still making millions of dollars.

It’s a freaky story to me. Let me tell you, never talk to anyone without your lawyer. That was my mistake. They didn’t ever say I did anything wrong. They said I knew or I should have known what this other company leader was doing tax-wise. How insane is that? We spent $2 million and 3.5 years fighting. Finally, I took a plea and got it over with. I spent fourteen months and one week in federal prison. My wife said, “At least I had money. Any problem that came up, I throw money at it.” That’s what happens when you build a real business. We came out of it. The day my wife picked me up from the prison door was the day the movers were moving us into a new 7,000-square foot custom home on six acres with a giant pond and this gorgeous home. I went from prison to this big, beautiful house. Why? It’s when you build a real company, it doesn’t require your presence. It’s a terrible story, but it’s a huge juxtaposition of what I was doing with my day to day. What was happening with our business interests?

It’s not magic. I had a 1.9 GPA in high school. I went to one year of junior college. I started my first business that Christmas during that only year of junior college. I got married at 22, had four kids. My wife was a stay-at-home mom. My parents and her parents had no money. I never borrowed money. I never took investor money. I bootstrapped everything. This is not magic or silver spoon. The one thing that my wife pointed out to me, smacked me upside the head years ago and said, “Here’s the one thing that you forget about yourself.” I will admit this one side because I didn’t know it. It took somebody else saying it to me. She did say, “You tell me that everybody should be able to pull themselves up by the bootstraps. You came from nothing. Everybody can do it. No, that’s crap. You’re a white man in the United States of America. Your parents stayed married. You grew up in a church community that supported you. You had people that told you, you were smart, that you were capable.”

That’s an advantage. You’ve talked about mindset multiple times in this conversation. When your mindset is somebody’s going to do it, why not me? If that’s your mindset, you can do anything. If your mindset is, “I’m not white. I’m not a man. I’m divorced. I’m a single parent. I don’t have any money. I don’t have anybody to turn to.” If your attitude is everything’s wrong, everything’s against me, that’s how you’ll live your whole life. You’ll always be a victim. You’ll always have an excuse. You can leverage the heck out of those excuses.

You can leverage it like crazy and say, “It’s not my fault. It’s everything around me is fault.” If so, then you deserve what you get. I feel inspired to share a poem off top of my head. It popped in my head and I it’s for something that I said. The poem and I hope I get it all right. It says, “I bargained with life for a penny and life would pay no more. However, I begged at evening while counting my scanty store. For life is the just employer. It will give you what you ask, but once you’ve set the wages, why you must bear the task. I worked for a menial’s hire only to learn dismayed, any price I had asked the life, life would have willingly paid.”

“You get what you believe you’re going to get. You accomplish what you believe is possible to accomplish. You will simmer in your own stew of excuses and regrets if that’s what you choose to do.” The most successful people I’ve ever met and I know I can tick off people that are my friends who’ve done things, founder of WebMD, founder of Make-A-Wish Foundation, founder of UGG Boots, founder of Teladoc. I can keep going on and on. These are my friends. Every one of them has had things that could have been used as the excuse for why they couldn’t be successful. All of them thought someone’s going to do this. Why shouldn’t it be me? All of them put the acknowledged challenges said, “Yes, that’s true, but that doesn’t define my future. That’s where I’m starting from. That’s the launch pad. We can do what we want.”

There is endless unrestricted room at the top. There is room for people who are successful always. There isn’t a limited number of seats. Everybody can be there. They have to make a choice. Success can be financial success. It can be relationship success. It can be health success. It can be number of jobs you’ve created, number of ladles of soup at a soup kitchen you’ve distributed. It’s however you define your own success. Just don’t let the things you want to accomplish in your life. Be limited because you’re afraid that you’re imperfect or that things aren’t perfectly organized.

REW 39 | The Unshackled Owner

The Unshackled Owner: If your attitude is “Everything’s wrong, everything’s against me,” that’s how you’ll live your whole life. You’ll always be a victim.


You don’t have the perfect website. You don’t have the perfect body. You don’t have the perfect bank account. You don’t have the perfect speech member. Moses was slow of speech. He had to have his brother, Aaron, do the talking. Clearly, I’m a benefactor of that talking. Moses was an old man who stuttered, who struggled, who was now an outcast from Egypt. He still went in and changed the world as we know. All the major religions acknowledged Moses and what he did. Whether you’re Christian, Jewish or Muslim, everybody looks at Moses and this unbelievable accomplishment of moving these people and building this kingdom. He established something in the name of their God, against all the odds, including the largest, most powerful government in the world.

You can do what you want to do if you decide to do it, and you decide to learn how the heck to do it. I meet so many people that say, “I’ve got this idea and I believe it will be a $50 million idea three years now. I need your help.” I’ll say, “How much revenue do you have now?” They say, “I’m making $1,800 a month.” I said, “You’re going to be $50 million in three years. Yes. Why do you believe that? That’s stupid. You’re insane.”

How are we going to get you from $1,500 a month to $5,000 a month? How are we going to get from $5,000 to $20,000? How are we going to build a real business? Not how are you going to sit there with your Excel spreadsheet or your calculator and dream big dreams based on nothing real. If you learn how to do the work, you never have to lie, cheat or steal. You can learn to do the work and you will get the result. People that are reading this I assume are seeking that input in their lives to not think they can do it alone.

The old proverb says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” You can be a flash in the pan. You can make a couple of bucks now, or you can build something real that will sustain you. As you have other things that come up in your life or other opportunities that you want to take on or other responsibilities, you cannot shirk. You can be the person that seems to have it all if you decide to go with a team to do something the market wants and you learn how to do it and follow the formula, you’ll be successful.

Thank you so much for that. Ladies, this is something that we talk about a lot on this show is this whole networking thing. Real estate is a people business. The numbers have to work, but it’s a people business. Life is a people business who you hang out with, who you have the conversations with will expand your mind, your life, your business. It will expand to everything. Aaron is one of those people that came to this show with a lot to share and expanded our mind. These are the sorts of people that you want to have in your life when you’re out there spending time with people, spend time with people that expand you that have a conversation with you, that your eyes are wide open.

You’re like, “I didn’t know that.” It’s such a big piece of success is who are we hanging out with? Who are we having conversations with? Who are we inspiring to work for us, with us as partners, employees, vendors in our business, our tenants? My tenants are my biggest source of income. They’re my biggest business partners or my biggest clients are the most important people in my life. Not my contractors, not my vendors, my tenants. It’s because of that, that my relationships with them are a big deal. I network around that. Who are you spending time with? This has been amazing, Aaron, getting to spend some time with you.

It’s been my pleasure and thanks for letting me talk to your people. The goal is to help more people stay in business for more years, making more money. If this helped one little person in one little way, then was time well spent.

Thank you so much. Aaron and I are going to do an Extra, Ladies. We’re going to be talking about, when you’re shooting for those goals, why? I want a lot of money so that I can make a big impact on the world. Does that pull your heart forward? There has to be a why. You have to be able to tell when you reach that goal that you’ve been shooting for, for so long. There’s gratification in that. It’s also someplace to go to. It pulls us forward. Aaron and I are going to be talking about that in Extra. If you are not subscribed to Extra, but would like to be, go to RealEstateInvestingForWomenExtra.com. You get seven days for free. You can download a ton of stuff, get some great content and then you get to stay subscribed. If you’re already subscribed, stay tuned, we’ve got some amazing stuff coming for you. If you’re leaving us now, thank you so much for joining Aaron and I for this portion of the show. I appreciate you. I look forward to seeing you next time. Until then, remember goals without action are dreams. Get out there, take action and create the life your heart deeply desires. I’ll see you soon.


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About Aaron Scott Young

REW 39 | The Unshackled OwnerAaron Scott Young is a renowned entrepreneur with more than 30 years experience and several multi-million dollar companies under his belt.

Aaron has made it his life’s work to arm business owners with success formulas that immediately provide exponential growth and protection.

Fully embodying the concept of the unshackled business owner, he inspires others to do the same by empowering them to build strong companies while proactively protecting their dreams.




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